


pardon me i have to get away

by laminy



Series: and the night followed day, and the story tellers say [19]
Category: American (US) Actor RPF, Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Conversations, Domestic Fluff, Epic Friendship, Fluff and Angst, Holidays, Interior Decorating, M/M, Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25531756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laminy/pseuds/laminy
Summary: With just a few weeks to go until the baby is born, Rami and Gwil go on a short trip together, while Ben and Joe stay back in London to finish getting the nursery ready.(takes place in January 2042)
Relationships: Ben Hardy/Gwilym Lee, Rami Malek/Joe Mazzello
Series: and the night followed day, and the story tellers say [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1438129
Comments: 31
Kudos: 25





	pardon me i have to get away

“Let me see this again.”

Ben groans as Joe pushes at his sleeve and twists Ben’s arm towards him; not in any real pain, just general Joe annoyance.

“I don’t know,” Joe says, looking back and forth between Ben’s tattoo and the flowers that Gwil is currently painting on the walls of the baby’s room. “I like this one better,” Joe says, wiggling Ben’s arm until Ben pulls away from him. “Gwil, paint it more like this.”

“I’ll paint it the way I want to paint it, thank you,” Gwil says, not even looking at Joe as he continues working on the blue petals.

“Who raised you?” Ben asks. “Children having children, that’s what this is,” he says, gesturing around the room.

Joe just sticks the tip of his tongue out, then gives Ben a big smile. 

One of the requirements for the second semester of Ben’s MA is a supervised study tour to London. All the students in the program were assigned a variety of different archival and records management settings to observe and work with the staff involved. The university left accommodation up to each of the students, which of course meant that Gwil and Ben (and the girls) have taken up residence in Joe and Rami’s flat for the week, taking the train in after Ben finished his classes for the day on Friday.

Thus far, Gwil has been spending the weekend painting one of the walls of the baby’s room with a floral mural. Joe had no opinion on the flowers, until now, apparently.

“I like it,” Rami says, stretching out on the bed, Peaseblossom curled up on his lap. Augie’s off hiding somewhere for the time being. “I think it’s pretty.”

“I think it’s a lot of work,” Ben murmurs. 

“Well, we’ll be the ones doing the hard work soon enough!” Joe says, clapping his hands together.

When Rami and Joe had gotten back from their Christmas in Hyde Park, and were celebrating back home with Gwil and Ben, Rami had hesitantly approached Gwil with the idea that, since Ben had to be in London for a week, and Gwil wouldn’t be spending any time at the library in Aberystwyth, that perhaps Rami and Gwil could take a short trip together? Just as an opportunity to spend a bit more time together, just the two of them, before the baby comes. And it would mean that Ben and Joe would get to spend a few days together on their own as well! And wouldn’t that be lovely?

Rami had framed it as a trip to Torquay, Devon, the birthplace of Agatha Christie, and would Gwil like to come along while Rami went to the museum, and did a walking tour? Gwil certainly isn’t as big of an Agatha Christie fan as Rami is, but after checking with Ben that he would be able to handle being alone in the flat with Joe and three cats for a few days, Gwil agreed. Then while they were planning it, Rami had casually suggested that, since they would be in the area, so close to Cornwall, maybe they should also take the train to Truro, since Rami had never been, and Gwil hadn’t been in years, since the last time he and Roger had managed to make it down. Which had been awhile anyway, since training with the BIS didn’t exactly give Gwil a lot of free time for what was then a much longer railway journey.

That had made Gwil far more reluctant; he still cherished Roger and what they had together, and who they were to each other. Talking to Felix still feels a bit surreal at times, but he’s been one of Gwil’s favourite people for awhile now. And of course, Gwil sees Roger’s ring on Ben’s finger every day, without issue. But that doesn’t mean that Gwil wants to go down to Cornwall, chasing memories of Roger, when he’s perfectly happy with the partner he’s found in Ben.

It had taken a bit of convincing; they celebrated Christmas and Ben’s birthday together in London, with Ben and Gwil going back to Aber for the start of Ben’s semester without Gwil giving Rami a final decision. It had taken Ben’s reassurance that no, he wouldn’t be offended if Gwil went to Truro, and no, he doesn’t think that Gwil is still pining for Roger’s heart, as well as a conversation with Rami to remind Gwil that Roger was Rami’s mate as well, and he’d never been to Truro, and Rami wanted to visit a place that meant a lot to his mate before the baby came. Because who knows when they’re going to go anywhere once the baby comes.

So Gwil and Rami are to take the train to Truro, spend a day there, then take the train to Torquay for a couple days, before coming back up to London. Meanwhile, Joe and Ben will spend their days at work, or whichever archives Ben has been assigned to, and then at night, they’ll work on getting the baby’s room ready. Gwil is handling the mural on the wall, but everything else— putting together the crib, and decorating, is being left to Joe and Ben. As well as trying to keep Augie from killing the girls, or the girls from killing Augie.

“I just think it’s lovely that Gwil has taken to painting so well,” Rami says. “I wouldn’t have minded a space theme for the room, but flowers…flowers just seem to suit so much more.”

“Well, the baby is being carried by a Poppy,” Gwil says, and he reaches down, setting one brush in the cup of dirty water, picking up a clean one.

“Do you need anything?” Ben asks, gently resting his hand on Gwil’s back, watching him paint. “I am your assistant, remember.”

Gwil turns, smiling at Ben, and then he leans in, giving him a quick kiss. “No, I’m alright,” he says, “but thank you.” He turns back to the wall, carefully detailing a red petal.

“Will you be done by the time you leave tomorrow?” Ben asks.

Gwil steps back, blinking a couple times as he looks at the wall. “I think so,” he says. “Well, close enough, anyway. When we get back I’ll do a bit of touching up.”

“I think it’s beautiful,” Rami says. “And our baby agrees.”

“Oh, have you asked?” Gwil asks.

Rami shrugs. “I just know these things.”

“Rami and the baby have a psychic connection, apparently,” Joe says, while Rami rolls his eyes.

“Not you and the baby?” Ben asks.

Joe shakes his head. “Nah, we’re gonna meet for the first time when they pop out.”

“Oh god,” Rami says, “do not say _pop out_ , you make it sound so foul.”

“How do you think they’re coming out?” Joe asks.

“They don’t _pop_ ,” Rami says. “They will be delivered. Through the birth canal.”

“The birth canal,” Joe echoes. “The birth canal! Do you hear this shit?”

Ben frowns, glancing at Gwil, who’s just staring at the wall as he paints with a smile. “Uh,” Ben says, glancing back. “I admit I may have less— experience with that part of the body than some people,” Ben says, and Joe grins, “but I do think that’s the technical term.”

Joe shrugs. “Yeah, but I don’t like how it sounds.”

“No,” Rami says sarcastically, “Joe prefers far more scientific terms.”

“Like pop out,” Ben says, and Rami nods. “Well, hopefully Joe can adjust his language for the actual delivery.”

“You’re going to watch a baby be born,” Gwil says, looking back over his shoulder. “That’s— that’s really something. Their first moments in this world.”

“You want in on it?” Joe asks. “Poppy’s already got three people in there with her, I’m sure we can make it four.”

“I’m alright, thank you,” Gwil says.

“Don’t look at me,” Ben says to Joe, “I’m quite happy being in the waiting room.”

“You’re too squeamish anyway,” Joe says.

“I’m not,” Ben says. “I don’t mind that sort of thing.”

“Really?” Joe asks. “Really. You’d be okay watching someone give birth.”

“If I had to, sure,” Ben says. “I’m not saying it would be the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life, but I can’t imagine it’s as bad as all that. But I have no place in that room. The two of you and Dáire, that’s more than enough.”

“Uncle Ben and Uncle Gwil will be waiting an appropriate distance away,” Gwil says, carefully dragging the paintbrush along the wall.

Rami smiles at the other three, and then lets out an excited noise, wiggling on the bed, kicking his feet a bit.

“Excited?” Ben asks.

“I can’t believe it,” Rami says. “A baby.” He makes another noise and wiggles a bit more, and instead of being bothered by it, Peaseblossom just snuggles closer to him. “And this is their room.”

“I thought this was my room,” Gwil says.

“That’s right,” Ben says, looking at Rami. “I distinctly remember that, when Gwil moved out—”

“I am always welcome to sleep over any night I want to,” Gwil says, “the bed is still mine.”

Joe grins, looking over at Rami. “Did we say that?” he asks. “It sounds nicer than we are.”

“Sounds nicer than _you_ are,” Ben says, nudging Joe. “Rami’s a sweetheart.”

“Well, the bed _is_ still yours,” Rami says. “We’re not moving it. But when you come over now, you have to share.”

“Share?” Gwil whines, playfully stomping his foot. “I don’t care for sharing. I’d like this whole place to be mine again, and the baby can sleep in a drawer.”

“Ooh, wow,” Joe says. “This is a side of Gwil I didn’t expect. What do you think, Ben?” he asks. “Are you guys moving back in?”

“ _No_ ,” Ben says sharply. “But Gwil’s free to do whatever he likes. I’ll be staying in Aber.”

“Wow,” Joe says again. “Huh. Guess Ben doesn’t love us as much as Gwil does.” He glances over at Rami. “What do you think about that?”

Rami rolls his eyes. “Gwil loves _me_ ,” he says. “I’m fairly certain if he moved back in that he’d only be tolerating you.”

Gwil and Ben both snort with laughter, and Joe’s mouth falls open in shock before he jumps onto Rami. 

“No, Joe, no!” Rami exclaims, trying to roll away from him. “Peaseblossom— you’ll hurt her!”

“I will not,” Joe says. “Now get over here, I’m gonna punish you!”

“Oh god,” Ben says, reaching up to rub at his eyes. “Joe’s turned it into a sex thing, not surprising. Do _not_ — Blossom, get away from them! Come here.”

Peaseblossom meows as Rami gently rolls around with her still in his arms, Joe smothering kisses all over Rami’s face.

Gwil sighs, turning back to watch Rami and Joe, and then he shakes his head, looking at Ben. “I’m sorry, love.”

“That you’re leaving me alone with him?” Ben asks. “Yeah, you should be.” He leans up, giving Gwil a kiss. 

“At least you studied law,” Gwil says, going back to the mural. “I bet we’ll be able to put together a _really_ good defence when you inevitably kill him.”

Ben laughs loudly, nodding, and he wraps his arm around Gwil’s waist, watching him continue to paint.

\+ + + + +

Rami pushes himself back from the dining table, reaching down to give Augie a quick pet before he picks up his plate, looking over at Gwil. “We’ve got to get going,” he says, heading towards the kitchen. “Or we’ll be late!”

Gwil smiles over at Ben, who’s taking a sip of his coffee. He reaches over, resting his hand on Ben’s thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze as he leans in towards him. “I suppose I’d better be off, then,” Gwil says, and Ben nods, setting his mug back down on the table.

“I suppose,” Ben says. He glances at his watch, then leans in, giving Gwil a quick kiss. “I’m sorry I can’t see you off; I need to be at the Soane's Museum in less than an hour, I don’t think I’d make it.”

“I know, love,” Gwil says softly, and he kisses Ben again. “I wouldn’t want you to be late on your first day. Though…” He glances over at Joe, who’s distracted by his breakfast. “Are you sure you’re alright with me going?” Gwil asks Ben softly.

Ben smiles, shoulders relaxing a bit, nodding. “Yes, of course,” he says. “It’s good for you to spend time with Rami.” He reaches up, brushing his fingers through Gwil’s hair. “Have fun, yeah? And call anytime you need. I’ll be a bit busy during the day, but—”

“Oh my god,” Joe mutters, and both Gwil and Ben look over at him. “It’s Monday. He’ll be back on Thursday. Everyone will survive.”

“Don’t be rude!” Rami calls out as he walks by the dining room, heading down the hallway towards the stairs to go get his things.

“Why doesn’t anyone think about me?” Joe asks. “I have to spend three whole days with Be—” He gags. “All alone with Be—” He gags again, shuddering. “God, sorry, I just can’t get it out. But I don’t get a vacation!”

Ben sighs a bit, and Gwil just looks at Joe. “Something tells me you’re _desperate_ for me to leave,” Gwil says, “so that you can finally have Ben all to yourself again. Forget about Rami and I, it’ll be just like old times, how does that sound?”

Joe grins at Gwil. “My, whatever do you mean, Gwilym?” he asks teasingly. 

“Be honest,” Gwil says, and he glances back and forth between Ben and Joe. “You’re sharing a bed while we’re gone.”

“Well, you and Rami are sharing in Torquay,” Joe says as Ben groans, “so it only seemed fair.”

“Let me know how your work goes,” Gwil says, kissing Ben’s head as he pushes his chair back, picking up his dishes. “I’m really interested in hearing about the archives.”

“Alright,” Ben says, smiling as he watches Gwil walk by him into the kitchen.

Joe just shakes his head. “You don’t see me being all dramatic and sad because my husband is going away. On vacation. With another man.”

“Oh, really,” Ben says, “so you won’t miss him at all?”

“Pfft,” Joe snorts, shaking his head. “I won’t even think of him.”

“Gee, thanks,” Rami says from the doorway, and Joe jumps a bit, then looks up, smiling.

“Babe, you know I’m just joking,” Joe says, smiling at Rami, pushing his chair back. “Come here, gimme a goodbye kiss.”

“No, I don’t think so,” Rami says, turning away from Joe.

“Babe,” Joe says, wrapping his arms around Rami, even as Rami playfully tries to twist out of them. “You know I’ll miss you,” he says, kissing Rami’s neck.

Rami smiles, resting his hands on Joe’s arms, shifting on his feet as he snuggles back against Joe’s chest. “Will you?” he asks.

“Of course,” Joe says, kissing his neck again. “Three days without my hubby, that’s the longest we’ve been apart in…” Joe’s eyes narrow as he thinks. “Uh. Do we spend too much time together?”

“We’re _married_ ,” Rami says, turning in Joe’s arms, wrapping his arms around his waist. “Are you sure you’re alright with me going?”

“Remember, Joe,” Ben says, taking a sip of coffee. “You just made fun of Gwil for asking me that exact same question.”

“I am alright with you going,” Joe says, smiling. He gives Rami a quick peck, and then reaches up, brushing Rami’s curls back from his forehead. “I’m looking forward to spending time with Ben, and I’m happy you and Gwil get to spend time together too.” He cups Rami’s cheek in his hand, brushing his thumb over Rami’s cheekbone. “If we can’t survive three days apart, it’s a pretty shitty marriage.”

Rami laughs loudly, and gives Joe another kiss. 

“Excuse me,” Ben says, squeezing past Rami and Joe in the doorway.

“Oh, Ben,” Rami says, turning around in Joe’s arms before he pulls away, following Ben into the kitchen. “I hope it’s alright that— well, I hope you don’t feel like I’m abandoning you here. I love that you’re in London for the week. I just thought it was a good opportunity— well, with the baby coming— _six weeks_ , you know, I—”

“Rami,” Ben says, setting his dishes down, turning around and putting his hands on Rami’s shoulders. “Have fun.”

“Really?” Rami asks. 

“Of course,” Ben says. “Let Joe and I take care of the baby’s room. I couldn’t go anyway! I’m working, you know. Well, sort of. I’m learning, we’ll say.”

“You are,” Rami grins, and he bounces up and down on his feet a couple times before he throws his arms around Ben. “Oh, please don’t feel you have to do all sorts of work while we’re gone. I mean, we still have _six weeks_.”

Ben laughs. “Either it’s a lot of time or it’s not, Rami,” he says. “You can’t have it both ways.”

“Oh, fine,” Rami says. “I’m going to get you something from the Agatha Christie Gallery, you know.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Ben says. He looks over Rami’s shoulder, watching Gwil walk by with his things. “Now, you’ve got to get going,” he says. “Or you’ll miss your train.”

“Alright,” Rami says, and he gives Ben another quick hug before he turns, following Gwil to the front door. 

Joe and Ben stand in the hallway, watching Gwil and Rami get their shoes and jackets on, and then Joe steps forward, giving Gwil a hug. “Be safe,” he says, smiling up at him. “Have fun.”

“I will,” Gwil says, winding his scarf around his neck.

“And be nice to yourself,” Joe says, and Gwil’s movements pause as he looks at Joe. “Just…you know. In Truro.”

“Yes, I—” Gwil nods. “Thank you, I will.” He steps aside to let Rami say goodbye to Joe, and pulls Ben into a hug, kissing his temple. “Make sure you impress loads of people,” he says to Ben, and Ben smiles. 

“I’ve got to find a job,” Ben says. “Time for me to start supporting you instead of the other way around.”

Gwil grins, stepping back. “Exactly,” he says.

“Well, I’ll try,” Ben says. “But no promises. Maybe I’ll work all week and find out that I really don’t mind being a kept man.”

Gwil chuckles. “I bet.”

Joe kisses Rami once, then twice, and then once more for good measure, and Rami pulls back, smiling at him. “And be careful putting everything together,” Rami says.

“Babe, it’s a crib,” Joe says, “how much danger could I be in?”

“I meant don’t you _dare_ mess up the flowers Gwil’s painted,” Rami says. “I don’t want a single mark on those walls, Joe.”

“Yikes,” Joe says. “Alright. Are you sure threatening me is the last thing you want to say to me?”

“I love you,” Rami says. “And I hope that you have a lovely time while we’re away. Be good at work. I’ll miss you.”

“Miss you too,” Joe says, kissing him again, and then Rami turns to hug Ben.

“Going to ask me to take care of him?” Ben asks, rubbing Rami’s back.

“No,” Rami says. “Just take care of yourself with your work and let me know all about it.” He kisses Ben’s cheek and steps back, reaching down to grab his bag. “Oh, Augie! You be good as well! Oh, I don’t suppose I have time to track down the girls to say goodbye,” he says, looking around with a bit of a sad look on his face. “Augie, don’t you hurt them.”

“Where are they?” Ben asks Gwil, looking over at him.

“I last saw Mussy near the bathtub,” Gwil says. “I think Blossom’s on the bed again.”

“They’re alright, then,” Ben says. “Alright! You’ve got to go, you can’t miss your train for us.”

“Where are you leaving from?” Joe asks.

“Paddington,” Gwil says, smiling.

“Oh, say hello to the statue for me,” Ben says. 

“Love you,” Joe says, waving. “Text when you’re there safe, text whenever. You know I don’t work.”

“You’re going to be late,” Rami says, and Joe shrugs. “Okay, we’re going. We’re going! How exciting, Gwil!” He grins brightly up at him, and takes his hand, excitedly bouncing on his feet. “We have to go!”

“Bye!” Joe says, waving as Gwil unlocks the door, Rami grins over at Joe and Ben, unable to wave back with one hand holding his bag, the other holding onto Gwil.

“Love you!” Ben calls. “Be safe!”

“Love you!” Gwil calls behind him. “I want to hear all about the Soane’s Museum!” 

Joe snorts a bit at that, looking over at Ben. “That’s romantic,” he says.

“Shut up,” Ben says. “I think so.” He walks over to the door, closing it and locking it behind them. “Just because my partner cares about my job—”

“It’s gay,” Joe says, “it’s so, so gay.”

“You’re married to a man!” Ben exclaims. “How is that not—”

“Don’t erase my sexuality!”

“Oh my god, this is going to be a long three days,” Ben groans.

Joe just grins at Ben, and then reaches out to playfully shake Ben’s shoulders. “Ben and Joey, Ben and Joey,” he sings to tune of _Love & Marriage_, “go together like a—”

Ben raises his eyebrows, looking at Joe, waiting for him to figure out how to continue.

“Go together like a…” Joe tries again, trailing off.

“Joe, I’ve really got to get to the museum,” Ben says.

“Okay, you get ready,” Joe says, letting go of Ben, “I’m gonna keep working on this.”

“Great,” Ben nods, heading down the hallway. “I look forward to you not doing anything today but that.”

Joe nods, singing softly to himself. “Do you need me to pack you a lunch?” he calls out suddenly.

Ben laughs. “I’m alright, hubby!” he calls back, and Joe grins, before he starts singing to himself again.

“Maybe if I switch it,” Joe says. “Joe and Benny, Joe and Benny…”

\+ + + + +

Gwil glances over at Rami as they walk onto the train, heading towards their seats. “Do you want the window or the aisle?” he asks.

“Oh,” Rami says, “I’m alright with the aisle. I can snuggle against you if I want to see out the window.” Gwil laughs, and glances at the seat numbers again before he sits down, shifting a bit to get comfortable. “Or do you need to stretch out?” Rami asks, looking down at him. “I can— if you need the aisle, please do.”

“I’m alright for now,” Gwil says, “but thank you.”

“I’m not sure how much there is to see anyway,” Rami says softly, sitting down and leaning in towards Gwil.

Gwil grins at Rami. “No?” he asks. “Not a fan of Reading and Taunton?” Rami just shrugs. “Are you excited?” he asks.

“Of course I am,” Rami says.

“Are you more excited for Truro or Torquay?” Gwil asks.

“I’m not sure, honestly,” Rami says. “I should think I’m excited for both of them, for different reasons.” He smiles at Gwil, resting his head against his shoulder. “But I’m really chuffed to be spending some time with you before the baby comes.”

“So am I,” Gwil says, “so thank you for inviting me along.” He reaches out, patting his hand on Rami’s leg, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Though there is something that I’m rather surprised about.”

“What’s that?” Rami asks.

“That you’re letting Joe finish putting the baby’s room together,” Gwil says, smiling.

“Why’s that?” Rami asks.

“You aren’t even the least bit worried he’s going to make a mess of it?” Gwil asks, trying not to chuckle.

“Oh god, he’s fine,” Rami says. “I know he’s not an engineer, but I think even he can manage to put together a cot. They come with instructions, you know. I’ve seen them.”

“Alright, alright,” Gwil says, “whatever you say.” He looks out the window at the station, then back at Rami. “Ben and I have ordered a cot for our flat,” he says. “For the second bedroom.”

“Have you?” Rami asks, smiling up at Gwil. “And you haven’t shown me any pictures?”

“My apologies,” Gwil says. “Ben’s the one who did the ordering.”

“That’s alright,” Rami says. “It’s very exciting.”

“It is,” Gwil says. “I’d like for you to be able to come stay with us, too.”

“Of course,” Rami says quickly, as if he had never considered otherwise. “And I’m sure whatever you’ve bought is perfectly lovely.”

“It’s supposed to delivered next week when we’re back in Aber,” Gwil says.

“Shall I send Joe over, to help you put it together?” Rami asks.

Gwil chuckles. “If you think he’d enjoy it, why not.”

Rami nods. “You know, that is part of the reason why I don’t really mind letting him do it— obviously anything there I didn’t like, he would change. But Joe’s just so— he’s really excited about it.”

“Yeah?” Gwil asks.

“Of course we’re both excited about everything,” Rami says. “But I have the feeling that Joe’s always sort of been…planning out the baby’s room in his head. Since before he even met me. So, I don’t mind. Not one bit.” He smiles up at Gwil again. “He and I are going to be fathers, you know.”

“I certainly do,” Gwil says, and he leans in, playfully nudging his shoulder against Rami’s. “And you’re going to be brilliant at it.”

“Thank you,” Rami says, blowing out a breath. 

The train finally pulls away from the station, and after a couple minutes, Gwil shifts in his seat, taking off his jacket, setting it on his lap, covering his legs with it.

“Are you feeling better about going to Truro?” Rami asks. 

Gwil nods slowly, pushing up the sleeves of his jumper as he thinks. “I am,” he says. “I— Ben’s rather encouraging of it. And of course I want to go with you. So, I think it will be alright.”

“I’m sure it will be,” Rami says, and he reaches out, gently grasping onto Gwil’s forearm, turning it so that his tattoo his facing up.

“What’s this?” Gwil asks. “Going to make fun of me some more like your lovely husband?”

“I just like looking at it,” Rami says, and he carefully traces his fingers over a couple of the craters in Desdemona, and he looks up at Gwil. “It makes me happy.”

“Me too,” Gwil says, nodding.

“Oh, Gwil,” Rami says, leaning closer to Gwil, locking their arms together. “Everything is so perfect now.”

“It is,” Gwil says. “It really is.”

“For both of us,” Rami says. “ _All_ of us.” He squeezes Gwil closely. “I’m so excited to see Truro,” he says, glancing out the window.

Gwil nods, and he looks out the window as well. “So am I,” he says.

\+ + + + +

Gwil swallows hard, looking out the window at the Truro train station. Rami quickly pats Gwil on the knee and then stands up, heading to the luggage rack. He grabs his bag, and then Gwil looks up, hurrying after him, grabbing his own bag, following Rami off the train.

Rami inhales deeply, making a quiet noise, looking at Gwil. “Fresh Cornish air,” he says, and Gwil nods. “Alright?” Rami asks.

“Yes,” Gwil says, looking around, following Rami towards the exit.

“Does it look familiar?” Rami asks, and Gwil nods. 

“Newer, a bit,” he says, “but—” Gwil swallows. “Yes, familiar.”

Rami and Gwil walk outside, and Rami glances from left to right. There are a couple car rental places in the station, but neither Gwil nor Rami have bothered getting their driving licences yet, though Rami plans on it after the baby is born, depending on where they end up living. Gwil still isn’t entirely sure he sees the point. They’re staying in a cottage near the city centre, with a view of the cathedral; it’s only about a twenty minute walk from the train station, but with their bags and the misty cool January weather, they take a taxi instead for the short five minute drive.

When they get out of the taxi, they both turn to look at the cathedral, and then Rami smiles, reaching up to pat Gwil on the arm. “It’s pretty,” he says.

“It is,” Gwil agrees. 

They aren’t met by anyone; they find the key where they were told it would be, and Rami unlocks the door, stepping inside, holding the door for Gwil. “Oh, look at it,” Rami says, glancing around as he sets his bag down. “It’s so sweet.”

They take off their shoes, and walk around the cottage; there are three bedrooms, but one of them has just a single bed, so they ignore that one. They each pick a room, and meet back in the living room, Rami sitting on the sofa, looking out the window at the view.

“I suppose it’s lunch time,” Gwil says, sitting down next to Rami. “Would you like to go out for something to eat?”

Rami nods, but he doesn’t move from the sofa, reaching up to scratch at his cheek.

“Rami?” Gwil asks gently.

“Sorry,” Rami says, blinking a couple times, looking at Gwil. “Just thinking.”

Gwil nods, and reaches out, gently rubbing Rami’s arm. “Are you okay?” he asks.

“Yes,” Rami says, nodding, giving him a quick smile. “We should ring Felix,” he says. “Let him know we’ve arrived safely.”

Gwil looks at Rami, then smiles. “Yes, he’ll be happy to know we survived.” He takes his mobile out of his pocket, and then dials Felix, putting it on speakerphone.

“You know, he might be busy,” Rami says, glancing at his watch. “What sorts of things does he get up to on a Monday?”

Gwil shrugs, and then leans forward when he hears Felix pick up. 

“Hello,” Felix says. 

“Felix, it’s Gwil,” Gwil says.

“Yes, I have Caller ID,” Felix says, and Gwil looks at Rami, who’s trying not to laugh.

“Rami’s here with me,” Gwil says.

“Hi, Felix,” Rami says, leaning forward.

“Hello!” Felix says cheerily. “How are you?”

Gwil rolls his eyes. “Why don’t you ever sound that excited to hear from me, Felix?” he asks.

“I thought that was obvious,” Felix says. “I like him better.”

“Oh god,” Gwil mutters, and Rami finally starts to laugh.

“I’m joking, of course,” Felix says. “How are you _both_?”

“Felix,” Rami says, “guess where we are.”

“I haven’t forgotten,” Felix says. “I know where you are, it’s written on my calendar.”

“We’re in Truro,” Rami tells him anyway.

“So you’ve safely gotten in?” Felix asks, and Rami nods.

“Yes, we’ve just gotten to the cottage,” Rami says. “We’re about to go out to eat.”

“Is it nice?” Felix says.

“Lovely,” Gwil says. “Is there anything you need us to pick up for you while we’re down here?”

“In Cornwall?” Felix asks. “No, I’m quite alright,” he says. “But don’t forget me when you go to the Agatha Christie gift shop.”

“Heavens no,” Rami says. 

“Rami has plans to buy out the whole place,” Gwil says.

“Will you take photos?” Felix asks. “Of you and the cathedral, or— wherever you go.”

“Of course,” Gwil says.

“I don’t know that there’d be much blooming this time of year,” Felix says, “but Victoria Gardens is quite lovely.” There’s a beat of silence, and then Felix continues, “though I suppose you know that. I’m sure you’ve been.”

Gwil smiles. “Yes, I have,” he says.

“Well, alright,” Felix says. “I don’t want the two of you to starve after your train journey, so I’ll let you go eat.”

“Felix,” Rami says, “what are you doing today?”

“I’ve got a birthday party to attend,” Felix says. “I’ll be eating cake in about an hour.”

“Oh,” Gwil nods, “a birthday party. Well, have fun.”

“I will,” Felix says. “Don’t drown down there.”

“We’ll be alright,” Rami says. “We’ll see you when we get back!”

“I can’t wait,” Felix says. “Bye-bye for now.”

“Bye-bye,” Gwil echoes, smiling at Rami, and then he ends the call.

“He loves you,” Rami says.

Gwil scoffs, putting his mobile back in his pocket. “Are you sure?” he asks, teasing; he knows the answer’s yes.

“I am,” Rami says. He hops up off the sofa, bouncing up and down on his feet a couple times, and then he looks at Gwil. “Are you ready?” he asks.

Gwil nods, standing up as well. “Let me just grab my jumper.”

\+ + + + +

Joe looks up when he sees a small group coming out of the Soane’s Museum, and he pushes himself away from the fence he was leaning against, waving eagerly at Ben.

Ben smiles and waves back, saying goodbye to his classmates, and then he glances both ways before he hurries across the street. “Hi,” Ben says.

“Hi!” Joe says cheerily, wrapping his arm around Ben’s shoulders.

“You didn’t have to come pick me up,” Ben says, looking at Joe.

“I know,” Joe says. “But I was excited. Please, tell me about your day today.”

“Have you been there before?” Ben asks, glancing back at the museum.

“Not even once,” Joe says. “Who the fuck is Sir John Soane?”

Ben laughs. “He was an architect,” he says.

“Oooh.”

“That’s where he used to live and work,” Ben says.

“ _Oooh_ ,” Joe says again, and Ben laughs again. “What do I gotta do to get my office turned into a museum dedicated to me?”

“Uh,” Ben blinks. “More than…this.”

Joe snorts. “Wow, okay. Like you’re so great.” They smile at each other. “I mean, what do I have an archivist friend for—”

“Well, you don’t have one yet,” Ben says.

“If not to create a museum in honour of my legacy!” Joe continues. He looks at Ben. “You have to do a final project, don’t you? A thesis or…something. Right?”

“Yeah,” Ben says, “but I’m not doing it on you.”

“Wow,” Joe says, and he playfully pushes Ben away, before pulling him back in. “Okay, so tell me more about the museum. What were you working on?”

“I was in the Research Archive,” Ben says. “People make appointments to go in and look at his papers and things, for projects. I was helping out.”

“That’s so cool!” Joe says excitedly. “That’s so cool. That’s what you’re going to do, right?”

“Uh, maybe,” Ben nods. “It depends on where I get hired, but…sure! That could be my job.”

“I love it,” Joe says. “We need to celebrate. You, and this, and your degree, all of it. Let’s go out for supper!”

“You just don’t want to cook,” Ben says.

“Do I see you offering?” Joe asks, looking over at Ben.

Ben purses his lips, thinking, and then shakes his head. “Let’s go out for supper,” he says, and Joe grins, clapping Ben on the back.

\+ + + + +

Gwil shifts in his seat, looking around the pub. They’d eaten at a South African restaurant for lunch, just something they’d walked by on their way to the gardens that sounded good. But Rami wanted them to eat supper in a place that Gwil remembered; he’d been to this pub, years before, with Roger. It’s been updated a bit, but also it feels exactly the same. It’s the oldest pub in Truro, even the name hasn’t changed. Gwil’s gotten a lot more comfortable with who he is, and the possibility that he’ll be recognized when he’s out— but it’s different here. He almost feels like if he looks over at the bar, it will be the same person working as it was the last time he was there. Like if he looks across the table, it will be Roger, and not Rami. He feels like everybody here knows him, but from a different time.

“I wonder what’s good here,” Rami says, looking over the menu. “Do you remember?”

“I’m sure it’s changed,” Gwil says. “At least, I hope they have a different cook.”

Rami looks up, smiling. “You never know,” he says. “Did their cook come on the Mercury with us?”

Gwil smiles back, shaking his head as he takes a drink of water. “I’ll probably just get sausage and mash,” he says.

“Mm,” Rami nods. “I’m going to have the ham and mushroom tagliatelle.”

Gwil looks at Rami. “What was that?” he asks, smiling faintly.

Rami glances back down at the menu. “Ham and mushroom tagliatelle,” he says again. “With garlic bread.”

“Ah,” Gwil says, nodding slowly. “And is that how you used to pronounce _tagliatelle_?” he asks. “Or did your Italian husband teach you that.”

Rami rolls his eyes. “Oh, stop it,” he says. “I can’t help it that I’m married to a man with a talented tongue.” Gwil pretends to gag, and Rami just smirks. 

“I don’t even need to think about Joe’s tongue, thank you very much,” Gwil says, and he takes another drink.

“Alright,” Rami says. “But I think you’re missing out. He does this thing—”

“Oh god,” Gwil says, and he sits back, looking at Rami, shaking his head. “I don’t understand how you turned into such a bloody pervert in—” He glances at his watch. “Less than three years.”

“Yes, you do,” Rami says, and Gwil chuckles, nodding.

“Yes, I do,” Gwil concedes. “Well. Let’s just say, I’m happy that you’re happy and leave it at that.”

Rami smiles. “I am happy, you know,” he says.

“I didn’t doubt if for a second,” Gwil says.

“I certainly know we didn’t go on holiday just to spend our entire time talking about Joe,” Rami says.

“No?” Gwil asks. “Does Joe know that? I assume that’s what he thinks is going on here.”

Rami smiles again, happily bouncing his feet under the table. “But I _am_ happy,” he says. He holds his left hand out towards Gwil, showing him his wedding ring. “I have a husband. Can you believe it?”

“Well,” Gwil says, “I was at the wedding and made a wonderful speech, so, yes.”

Rami rolls his eyes, and he’s about to respond before their server comes up, and they both order their food and a drink, and then Rami looks back at Gwil. “I never thought I’d meet anyone like Joe,” he says.

Gwil nods. “I know. And trust me, for all my joking, Joe is one of my favourite people. And I’m very happy he’s your husband.”

“He loves me,” Rami says, “he _really_ loves me. Sometimes I didn’t know that was possible, to feel like that.”

Gwil looks at Rami, really taking in the brightness and happiness on Rami’s face, and he just gives him a small nod. “It’s wonderful, isn’t it?” he says softly.

Rami nods eagerly. “It is,” he says. After a moment, he leans forward, and kicks his foot out under the table, nudging Gwil’s leg with his. “But I swear, I didn’t invite you here just to talk about how lovely Joe is.”

“He’ll be devastated,” Gwil says, and Rami laughs, looking around the pub with keen interest.

"You can talk about Ben,” Rami says. “If you’d like. It’s only fair.”

Gwil smiles. “Ben wouldn’t want me to talk about his tongue.”

“Not _that_!” Rami says, kicking Gwil’s foot under the table again. “Just…aren’t you proud of him?”

“Of course,” Gwil says. “I— his first term went brilliantly, I— of course I’m proud.”

Rami smiles. “I know,” he says, “I just wanted to hear you say it. I feel like, he’s really come into his own.”

Gwil nods, taking a sip of water. “He certainly has.”

“I can’t wait to see where he ends up working,” Rami says.

“No, neither can I,” Gwil says.

“And you,” Rami says, nudging Gwil’s foot again. “The both of you. It’s going to be so lovely.”

“Trust me not to screw it up?” Gwil asks, and Rami laughs.

“ _Now_?” Rami asks. “Yes.”

Gwil smiles back, shaking his head in amusement, leaning back as their server brings them their drinks.

\+ + + + +

After Ben and Joe come back from supper, they have a few minutes of relaxing. Joe checks on Augie and Ben checks on the girls, before they change into comfy clothes and head into the baby’s room.

“What do you think Rami would do if I just—” Joe picks up a piece of packing tape that came off the changing table, and threateningly reaches out to Gwil’s mural. “Just— peeled it all off.”

Ben just stares at Joe. “Besides murder you, you mean?” he asks.

“Oh, good,” Joe says. “So you don’t think he would divorce me?”

Ben scoffs. “What do you think _I_ would do if you ruined Gwil’s painting?”

Joe groans, and crumples that tape into a ball. “Fine,” he says. “I won’t.” He tosses the ball away, and Mustardseed immediately darts for it.

“Thank you,” Ben says. He goes back to folding clothes— to save space, the changing table also servers as a dresser, and now there’s finally a place to put all the clothes that Joe and Rami have so far bought and been given. 

Joe walks around the room, nodding slowly. “The chair will go here,” he says, holding his hands up to one corner. “It’s being delivered soon.”

“I’m sure it will look lovely,” Ben says, glancing over. 

Joe sits down on the bed, bouncing a bit. “It’s kind of cramped in here, huh.”

Ben shrugs. “Well, I don’t think most nurseries _also_ have a bed. But it’s fine.”

“I’m excited to move,” Joe says.

Ben glances over at him. “What if I get a job in London?” he asks. “You wouldn’t stay?”

Joe makes a bit of a face, shrugging. “No,” he says, “either way, I think we might’ve outgrown this place.”

“Well, Rami is absolutely brilliant at finding flats,” Ben says. “So don’t— excuse me,” he says, looking down at Peaseblossom, who’s appeared out of nowhere to suddenly curl up on a couple of onesies. “Blossom, those are not yours.”

Joe smiles, watching Ben reach down to pick up Blossom, setting her to the side. Ben picks up the onesies, and shakes them out a bit, and then glances over at Joe. “Do these need to be washed again?” Ben asks, looking at Joe. “Sorry, I— is that safe?”

“It’s okay,” Joe says. “I mean, Augie’s gotten his stank all over this room. You think I’m going to be able to keep him off that table, or out of the crib?”

Ben grins, looking back at the clothes he’s folding. “No, I guess not,” he says. “How do you get a cat ready for a baby? Especially a cat that you are ever so insistent does not want a sibling.”

“ _Well_ ,” Joe says, clapping his hands on his thighs. “I’ve been doing research.”

“Oh, nothing would surprise me any less,” Ben says. “You are the man who owns three hundred parenting books.”

Joe takes out his phone, tapping and typing quickly, and then Ben flinches when the room is filled with the sound of a crying baby. Mustardseed and Peaseblossom both stand up straight, shocked.

“What the hell is that?” Ben asks, looking over at Joe.

“Just a YouTube video,” Joe says over the noise of a baby screeching at the top of its lungs. “One of the articles that I read said you should start introducing the sound of the baby first. So the cat can get used to it.”

“Well, I don’t think my cats are used to it,” Ben says, and he kneels down, giving each of the girls a few pets to calm them down.

“I just play this every once in awhile when Augie’s around,” Joe says, finally turning it off. “I don’t think he likes me anymore.”

Ben grins. “Gee, can’t imagine why.”

“I also read that, leading up to the baby coming, you’re supposed to spend less time with your cat,” Joe says. “Show them less affection. I guess so they can get used to not being your only priority.”

“That’s so sad,” Ben says.

“I know,” Joe says. “I’m not looking forward to it.” He kicks his feet a couple times, watching Ben continue to fold clothing. “Since you’re here,” he says hesitantly.

“Hmm,” Ben murmurs.

“Can I ask you something?” Joe asks.

“What sort of thing?” Ben asks. “A personal thing?”

“Actually, no,” Joe says. “A work thing.”

“Oh, sure,” Ben shrugs. “Considering I don’t work, ask away.”

“Can you write a will?”

“What do you mean?” Ben asks.

“I mean, I know you’re not a lawyer,” Joe says. “But can— can you help me? Or is it something I can do on my own?” Joe swallows. “I— with the baby, I’m getting pretty nervous. I know Rami and I should have written one as soon as we got married, but who wants to think about things like that right after a wedding? Not me.”

Ben pauses for a moment, thinking. “I— I probably _could_ help,” he says. “But you’d really be better off with an actual professional. I’m not sure how things work with dual citizenship. And I’m sure there’s something about leaving property to a child.”

“Right,” Joe says. “Okay, cool. Thanks. Is that like, a billable hour? Do I owe you money now?”

Ben chuckles. “That one’s on the house.”

“Okay, cool,” Joe says. He gently clears his throat, and keeps watching Ben. “Uh, so. On that topic. Can I…I need to. Tell you. Something.”

Ben looks over at him. “Well, alright,” he says. “I’m sure it’s not as bad as you’re making it sound.”

Joe shrugs. “I— uh. I think you might be mad.”

Ben swallows hard, pausing his movements. “Well, uh, spit it out then, I guess. And we’ll see.”

“So,” Joe says, “I, and Rami, not just me, but also I’m not throwing him under the bus, it was a decision we made together.”

“Right,” Ben says. “What’s…” He shifts on his feet, and glances down uncomfortably.

“If Rami and I die at the same time,” Joe says, “I think we’re— uh, uh, the baby is going to go live with Mary and Ed.”

Ben just blinks a couple times, and then swallows hard again. “Oh,” he says softly.

Joe nods. “Uh, yeah. So. I just…wanted you to know that.” He studies Ben for a moment, and then he can’t stand the look on Ben’s face so he tries to lighten the mood. “So uh, just remember, if I die— Mary and Ed are the suspects. This is me— this is the foreshadowing moment in one of Rami’s murder mysteries where I explicitly tell you— avenge my death. It was my sister.” He raises his hands, making spooky ghosts sounds. “Ooooh.”

Ben doesn’t say anything, and Joe’s not sure if he should keep going with the jokes or go back to serious— who’s he kidding, he goes back to the jokes.

“It’s not really fair to ask someone to take your kid in and not give them any help, right,” Joe says. “I mean, obviously the baby will get most of it. Oh, don’t worry though, you and Gwil— not that Gwil needs any more money, if you know what I mean, but you’ll be covered. You don’t walk away from years of friendship with Joseph Malek-Mazzello without your payday.”

“Right,” Ben says softly. He blows out a breath, then shakes his head. “I…”

Joe just watches Ben. “I’m sorry,” he says finally.

“Do you not trust me?” Ben asks, pushing the drawer closed, turning around to lean against it. “Is that it?”

“No, of course not!” Joe exclaims. “Oh my god, that’s not it. I mean, I just—” He shrugs. “Well, Mary has Matthew. You know. And she _is_ the biological mom. So, no, we just— you don’t want kids. You don’t want kids! I don’t want you to feel forced to take mine just because something happens to me and Rami.” Joe shakes his head, walking over to Ben. “It has nothing to do with trust or not trust, it’s just…you guys don’t want kids. Mary and Ed already have one. We thought she made the most sense. I’m sorry.” Joe reaches out to Ben. “I _am_ sorry,” he says. “Do— uh, should we talk about you taking the baby?”

“No,” Ben says softly, shaking his head. “That’s…no. I— I don’t know why I’m so— I’m not upset. But surprised. And I shouldn’t be. Of course Mary would be the best option. And no, I don’t want children. And if I did, I certainly don’t want _yours_.”

“Ouch,” Joe says, playfully clutching at his chest. “Want me to turn around so you can stick the knife in my back too?”

Ben has to smile at that, despite himself, and he shrugs. “I just— Mary lives in New York.”

“Yeah,” Joe says. “She does. Gross, right?”

Ben keeps smiling. “I just don’t want to move to New York,” he says.

“Who does?” Joe says, smiling back.

“Guess I’ll have to, though,” Ben says.

“Yeah?” Joe asks. “You’d do that for my baby?”

Ben blinks a couple times, and nods. “Yeah, of course I would,” he says. “I’m not— yeah. I’m going to be an uncle.”

“Yeah, you are,” Joe says. “Excited?” he asks.

“Of course,” Ben says. He reaches out, brushing his hand over Joe’s arm. “Don’t die though.”

“I won’t,” Joe says. “Promise.”

“Promise?” Ben echoes, and Joe nods. “Okay, good,” he says. “Then we’re in agreement— you’ll never die, and I’ll never have to move to America.”

Joe grins. “I don’t think that’s what I said.”

“It’s what I heard,” Ben says. He reaches over, picking up a shirt, slapping it against Joe’s chest. “Do you plan on doing any work here?” he asks.

“Nope,” Joe says, and he jumps back onto the bed, hearing a loud meow.

“Did you just land on my cat?” Ben asks.

“Oh, she’s fine,” Joe says, reaching over to pick Mustardseed, who was sitting on the pillow. “I would never hurt her.”

“Better not,” Ben says, pointing at him. “She’s my firstborn.”

“Oh, I know,” Joe says, nuzzling Mustardseed. “ _Daddy_.”

“Stop it.”

“Why are you Daddy?” Joe asks. “No offence, but Gwil gives off _way_ more Daddy vibes than—”

“Okay, put her down,” Ben says, “stop being perverted.”

Joe just laughs, holding Mustard closer. “Never,” he says softly, meeting her eyes. “Never in my life.”

\+ + + + +

There’s a bit of a fog in the air as Gwil and Rami leave the restaurant, deciding to just walk a bit more around the town first, instead of going back to the cottage right away. They stop at a cafe; Rami buys a tea and Gwil a hot chocolate, and then they head off down a small street.

“Was there anything here?” Rami asks, and Gwil nods, looking around at the stone buildings, then at the car park they’re approaching.

“There was a pub there,” Gwil says. “The Navy…Arms, I think. Navy Arms. Roger liked it a lot.”

“Was it nice?” Rami asks.

Gwil makes a bit of a face. “Spit and sawdust,” he says, and Rami grins.

“That sounds like him,” Rami says.

“Yeah,” Gwil nods. “It was. People sang there some nights, I remember that. It wasn’t… _awful_.”

“Ringing endorsement,” Rami says. He keeps smiling as they walk around, taking sips of their drinks, quietly chatting. 

“Oh, I know there was a pub there,” Gwil says, pointing a building. “Or, it was a hotel, but it had a pub in it.”

“A hotel?” Rami asks. “What sort of hotel?”

“Not _that_ sort of hotel,” Gwil says, and Rami grins. “Just a— a place to stay. If you needed one. But we always stayed with his mam.”

“I remember once,” Rami says, as they keep walking, “I hadn’t known you and Roger for very long. He and I were talking about where he was from, here. And I asked him if he spoke Cornish, and he said yes.”

Gwil frowns a bit, and then laughs. “He didn’t,” he says.

“No, not at all,” Rami says. “But I believed him. And he started speaking to me in Cornish, and I asked him how to say certain words, and he asked me what they were in Arabic.”

“I don’t remember this at all,” Gwil says.

“No,” Rami says, shaking his head. “I don’t know where you were. It was just him and I. And he just kept saying these things, over and over, and I had no idea what he was talking about.”

Gwil smiles. “And so— what happened?” he asks.

Rami laughs softly, thinking about it. “I asked him how to say something else, and then he just stopped, and said he’d been teasing me, that he didn’t know Cornish. It was just all gibberish, he was making it up as he went along.”

“Really?” Gwil asks. “He just admitted it, after all that?”

Rami nods. “He said that he didn’t expect me to believe him, but then he didn’t know how to stop. He said he thought I was too sweet to keep lying to.”

Gwil laughs. “Well, you are very sweet, so he was right there.”

Rami grins, and spins on his feet and Gwil laughs again. “Thank you,” Rami says. 

“Oh, any time,” Gwil says.

They keep walking, Gwil pointing out the few things that he can remember, but so much has changed. They end up back in front of the cathedral, and sit down on a bench in the small square, looking up at the building, sipping on their drinks.

“There’s a sweet shop right there,” Rami says, pointing just across the street.

“Would you like to go in?” Gwil asks.

“I certainly wouldn’t mind it before we leave tomorrow,” Rami says. “Something for the train ride. And look, there’s a jewellery store right next to it.”

“Who needs jewellery?” Gwil asks, glancing over.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Rami says, “just about anyone,” and he gives Gwil a sweet smile.

“Ben has enough jewellery already,” Gwil says, “if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Have you heard of these things called a _push present_?” Rami asks.

“No,” Gwil says, shaking his head. “What’s that?”

“That’s what Joe calls it,” Rami says, “so I’m fairly certain it must have a different, much more appropriate name.” Gwil chuckles. “Apparently it’s a gift you give someone after they give birth. To thank them.”

“Oh,” Gwil nods. “I wouldn’t know.”

“No, neither would I,” Rami says. “Jewellery might be nice, but it’s also sort of it— is it insulting?”

“I don’t know,” Gwil says, shaking his head. “You could ask Adriana if Poppy expects that sort of thing, or what the other couple she delivered for gave her.”

“That’s true,” Rami says, “good idea.” He swallows, slowly nodding, and they sit there in silence for a few moments. “I told Joe once,” Rami says suddenly, looking over at Gwil, “that I didn’t have many mates back…home.”

“No,” Gwil says softly. “I— once we started training, that sort of thing just…fell to the wayside. We certainly didn’t have time to be going out and meeting new people. I sort of regret letting people…they slipped away.”

“I told him that I was only mates with Roger because he came with you,” Rami says. “Isn’t that awful?”

“Oh,” Gwil says, looking back at the cathedral, blinking a couple times. “I— I didn’t realize you felt that way. I thought you always—”

“I _did_ ,” Rami says. “I did. I loved Roger. I don’t know why I said that. I— it was so soon after Joe and I had met, I don’t know— you hadn’t even started talking to Ben yet, it was…”

“Mm,” Gwil murmurs, nodding slowly. “Yes, those were, uh, strange times, maybe. Hard.”

Rami nods. “It was,” he says. “I don’t know why I said it. I can’t tell if it’s because I— just wasn’t ready to be open with Joe yet, like, completely. We were still getting to know each other, and he didn’t need to know everything about me.”

“Right,” Gwil says.

“Or,” Rami says, “I think it’s because I— I didn’t— I was too scared to…think— I think I thought that if I just shrugged him off like, _oh, Roger, that’s Gwil’s_ —” Rami looks at Gwil, blinking. “Boyfriend doesn’t sound strong enough.”

“No,” Gwil says, looking down at his lap. “It certainly doesn’t.”

“I…” Rami nods, and he takes a sip of tea. “I just didn’t want to miss him. I already missed so many people, I think I thought that if I told myself I wasn’t that close to Roger, that it wouldn’t hurt so much.”

Gwil nods, and he takes a shaky breath. “That makes sense,” he says. “I— I can certainly…understand that. You don't miss home so much if you pretended that you never really liked it there to begin with.” He makes a quiet noise. “I think I do that sometimes with Perth.”

Rami looks at Gwil in surprise, and he nods again. “The point is…” He takes a deep breath, blowing it out. “The point is, I— didn’t just— I brought you here— oh god, Rami,” he says to himself, reaching up to rub his forehead. 

“It’s alright,” Gwil says, reaching his hand out to rest on Rami’s shoulder. “Whatever it is, you can certainly tell me. Are you alright? Has something happened? Is it Joe, or— the baby? I—”

Rami sighs again. “I wanted us to come to Truro because I wanted to ask you something, and I thought this might be the best place for it.”

“Okay,” Gwil says, sounding a bit unsure. “I…certainly. You know you can ask me whatever you’d like. We didn’t have to come all the way to Truro for you to say something.”

“I know that Roger was your…” Rami looks at Gwil, frowning a bit. “Well, _yours_. But I’ve always loved him, and I’ve always missed him too.”

Gwil nods. “I know that.” He squeezes Rami’s shoulder again before dropping his hand back down to his lap. “It’s alright. I’m here.”

“And so, I thought,” Rami says, “and I’ve spoken to Joe about it as well, I just need to know how much it would hurt you. Or if it would. I don’t know.”

“Hurt me?” Gwil asks. “What would?”

“The baby,” Rami says. “When the baby comes, whether it’s a boy or a girl, I’d really like to use Taylor as a middle name. Not _just_ after Roger, of course, Felix is quite important to me now as well, but I’ve always liked the name Taylor, and Joe and I just thought that we’d like to use the name to honour him.” Rami pauses to catch his breath. “But not if knowing that our child is named after Roger would hurt you, or…be too hard on you. I know, of course, that it’s been…well, almost three years now, and you’re— well, not _better_ , not— it’s hard to— I don’t know. I’m just not sure if you’re in a place yet, now, or if you ever will be, where you would be alright with that.” He looks at Gwil, blinking a couple times. “Did I ramble too much?” he asks.

Gwil huffs a quiet laugh, giving Rami a smile. “Do I get a chance to talk now?” he asks.

Rami nods. “Yes, of course,” he says, “I’m sorry, I— yes. Please.” He puts his cup up to his mouth, taking a couple sips mostly just to just quiet himself.

“Alright,” Gwil says. He nods slowly, looking around the small square, the lights of the cathedral. He sighs softly. “Taylor,” he says. “Not Roger, not Meddows?”

“Well,” Rami says, “don’t say anything, but I don’t…Roger isn’t my favourite name,” he says, and Gwil smiles. “And it certainly wouldn’t work on a girl. And, well, I don’t mind Meddows, I suppose, but I like Taylor more.” He swallows. “I also don’t want to use that name if you planned on—”

“Planned on?” Gwil asks. “Planned on using it myself?”

“I don’t know,” Rami says. “I…don’t know what you two might be up to Wales. You’ve got an entirely new life over there, _two_ cats, who knows when children are coming.”

“Well, you _do_ know,” Gwil says, and Rami shrugs. “And no, I have no plans to use that name in the future. I— just a middle name?” Rami nods, and Gwil’s smile grows a bit. “You aren’t going to tell me what the other names are?”

Rami shakes his head. “No,” he says, “not until you meet them. I— we might meet them and completely change our minds. It’s all _very_ up in the air. Except this. I’ve known— I’ve known for awhile that I wanted to do this.”

“Rami, I…” Gwil trails off, shaking his head slowly. “I don’t know why you think you need my permission, I—”

“I just wanted to make sure that it was alright,” Rami says. “That it didn’t— Roger meant so much to you, I didn’t know if seeing his name on our baby would hurt or not. And I don’t want to hurt you.”

“How long have you known?” Gwil asks. “That you wanted to use the name Taylor?”

“Honestly?” Rami asks, and Gwil nods. “Since I let Joe read the letters.”

Gwil’s eyes widen a bit. “I— beg pardon,” he says, and Rami smiles, looking away. “Since— since before you were engaged. Before you even _lived_ together. I— and you never said!” Gwil grins, giving Rami a playful push. “That long?”

Rami nods. “Letting him read the letters, it felt like Joe was finally getting to know the real you. And he got to meet Roger, in that way. It was important for me to share those with him, and ever since then, I always thought that if Joe and I were to have children, that…I just want to remember Roger. And I—” Rami’s voice cracks a bit, and he takes a deep shuddering breath. “I think Roger would be really chuffed that I’m about to be a father.”

“Oh, Rami,” Gwil says, and he reaches out, wrapping his arms around Rami, pulling him in. “Roger would think this is the greatest thing that’s ever happened,” he says. “He’d be _so_ happy for you, he’d be _so_ proud. He would love Joe and the baby more than anything.”

Rami nods, reaching up to wipe at his eyes before he nuzzles back against Gwil. “So is it alright?” he asks softly.

“Of _course_ it is,” Gwil says. “Rami, I— you didn’t even have to ask. Roger was your friend, Felix is— well, he certainly likes you better than me,” he says, and Rami laughs. “He’ll think it’s brilliant.” Gwil pulls back from Rami, looking him in the eye. “And Roger would too.”

“Yeah?” Rami asks, and Gwil nods. “Yeah, he would,” Rami agrees. “He— the ego, I mean—”

“Absolutely out of control,” Gwil says, and they both smile, chuckling softly. “You’re literally naming your firstborn child after him. He’d only be upset that he’s been relegated to a middle name.”

Rami smiles. “I know,” he says. “There are just…so many people Joe and I have to honour.”

“I know,” Gwil says, nodding. “I’m just teasing. He’d love it. Felix will love it. I love it.”

“Yes?” Rami asks. “Alright. I— alright. Joe will be so happy to hear. I think it’s growing on him.”

“Good,” Gwil says. “Did you really invite me on holiday just to ask me that one question?”

“No,” Rami says. “I really did just want to see Torquay, and spend time with you before the baby comes. And then I just thought, since I’d never been to Truro, I…should like to see it.” He looks around. “I’m not sure it suits him.”

Gwil laughs at that. “No? Why not?”

“It’s such a small place,” Rami says. “It seems quiet. His personality was much too big for here.”

“I agree,” Gwil says, nodding. “I certainly agree with that.” He looks around, then reaches up to wipe at his eyes, giving Rami a small smile. “Taylor,” he says. “That’s a nice name.”

“Thank you,” Rami says, and he leans against Gwil’s shoulder. “I think so too.”

\+ + + + +

The next morning, Gwil and Rami sleep in a bit (though sleeping in for them is still early for others), and get bundled up, going for a jog on the streets around the cottage in the cool air. They come back to the cottage, cheeks red and cold, and each have a warm shower before they get changed again and head out for breakfast.

Truro isn’t that big, and most of what is there has changed over the last century since Gwil’s been there. They slowly walk down one of the streets, Gwil trying to remember. They end up by the river, leaning against the stone railing, looking out over the water.

“Over there’s the school,” Gwil says, pointing across the river. “I remember that.”

“Roger’s school?” Rami asks, and Gwil nods. 

“You could board there,” Gwil says, “but he never did. Just a day boy.”

“Do you want to walk over and see it?” Rami asks.

“No,” Gwil says, shaking his head, “that’s alright.”

“Is it bad that we came here?” Rami asks hesitantly.

“No,” Gwil says, looking at Rami with a smile. “It’s just cold, and I don’t want to walk over there. No, it’s been a lovely visit.”

“I was going to say,” Rami says, “I bet Roger was an absolute terror in school, but he was actually terrifically smart.”

“Mm,” Gwil nods. “Remind you of anyone?”

“Roger was smarter than Joe,” Rami says, and Gwil laughs.

“Glad you agree,” he says. “What about Ben, then?”

“Oh, Ben is definitely smarter than Joe,” Rami continues, and Gwil laughs some more.

They walk back towards the city centre, Rami still looking left and right at everything they pass. Gwil points out what he can remember, and Rami happily chats whenever Gwil is quiet. “You know,” he says, and Gwil glances over at him. “I have been thinking.”

“Do tell,” Gwil says.

“Well,” Rami says, “I’m not sure really. But— you volunteer in the library.”

“Doing a piss poor job of it this week, aren’t I?” Gwil says, smiling.

“And Ben’s going to be an archivist,” Rami says.

“He is,” Gwil says. “But before you suggest it, I don’t know if Ben and I should work at the same place. Ben and I— well, we’re perfectly happy, of course, but I think that might be encroaching on his space. I wouldn’t want to do that.”

“Oh, I wasn’t thinking that at all, actually,” Rami says. “Though, I totally understand— Ben does require a bit more independence, I think.”

“He does,” Gwil agrees.

“No, but what I was thinking,” Rami says, “is that— well, have you heard of oral history?” Gwil smiles, and Rami rolls his eyes. “Now who’s being perverted?” Rami asks.

“Certainly not me!” Gwil exclaims. “I— I’ve never done a perverted thing in my life.”

Rami snorts at that. “Hmm,” he says. “ _Anyway_. Do you know what it is?”

Gwil shrugs. “It’s just…history, isn’t it? I’ve seen transcripts at the library. People are interviewed, and…” He trails off, looking at Rami. “Oh. Are you— do you want to be interviewed?”

“I don’t know,” Rami says. “I was thinking…well. I think either of us would be…an interesting subject. Don’t you?”

“I don’t know,” Gwil says.

“I just feel like I want to get it all down,” Rami says, “but I’m really not much of a writer. But just think, all the things you remember about Truro, or about Cardiff. The things we remember about Perth. Someone might care to know that.”

“Maybe,” Gwil says.

“John wrote a book,” Rami says, “why couldn’t we?”

Gwil looks at Rami. “You’re serious?” he asks.

“I don’t know,” Rami say. “I’ve been thinking about it more as the baby gets closer. I— what are we going to say when they ask how Joe and I met. Or where my family is. Or— how old I am.” He looks at Gwil, a sad look on his face. “With us four, it’s fine. Even with— Joe’s family, mine, yours, it’s okay. They knew about us beforehand. But how do I explain to somebody brand new what…really doesn’t make sense.” He shrugs. “Just something to think about, I suppose.”

Gwil nods. “It is,” he says. “And…regardless of what I do, you’re free do whatever you want. And I’m sure Ben would— well, he loves old things, doesn’t he.”

Rami smiles, nodding. “He certainly does,” he says.

They walk for a bit longer, and Gwil glances at his watch. “We have time to go to the sweet shop,” he says. “If you’d like.”

“Alright,” Rami says, and they turn back towards the cathedral. Rami buys enough sweets for the rest of their trip, and then they go back to the cottage and gather their things, heading on to the train station.

\+ + + + +

“Do you like this colour?” Joe asks, reaching up to rub at his forehead as he sits back, holding a piece up, trying to take in the colour of the mini-crib against the colour of the living room walls. Ben’s done his second and last day at the Soane’s Museum, so after Joe picked him up and they ate supper, they’ve moved into the living room to attempt putting together a crib.

Ben shrugs, reaching over to pick up the instructions, looking at the pieces on the floor in front of him. “It’s fine, yeah,” he says. “Pretty. Pink.”

“Yeah, I know,” Joe says; the crib is a colour called Petal Pink, a pale pastel shade. 

“You’re not the sort of bloke who cares about that sort of thing,” Ben says, flipping the instructions over. “Boys and pink.”

“No, I know,” Joe says. “I don’t. I’m just wondering if it _goes_ , you know. Rami liked it, but does it match? Or is it ugly?”

Ben looks around, making a bit of a face, shrugging again. “I think it’s fine,” he says. “I also think that your ceilings are _way_ too high to even think about painting this living room before the baby comes.”

“But it would look great!” Joe says.

“Then buy a different crib,” Ben says.

“But Rami liked this one,” Joe says. He sighs, and shrugs, reaching over to take the instructions from Ben. “I guess you’re right though; this place would be a pain in the ass to paint. We should wait to see if we’re moving first.”

Ben makes a quiet noise, nodding. He knows that he’s the one they’re all waiting on, seeing where he gets a job before anybody makes a decision about moving. It’s a lot of pressure. “You know,” Ben says, changing the subject. “I don’t know much about raising children.”

“Yeah,” Joe nods.

“But don’t most babies just have the _one_ cot?” Ben asks. “You know, like the one we put together upstairs, in their room? Where they sleep?”

“Yeah, but their room is upstairs,” Joe says. “They need a bed down here too.”

“Why?” Ben asks.

“Because I’m lazy as fuck,” Joe says. “It’s just easier than going up and down the stairs every time they cry.” 

“Alright,” Ben says, “whatever you say.”

“Wait until you babysit, and then you’ll see,” Joe says. “Then you’ll thank me for it.”

“And it has wheels on it…why?” Ben asks, picking up one of the wheels, spinning it around.

“It came with them,” Joe shrugs. “I guess it’s so we can bring the baby into the dining room, or…I don’t know.” He pushes himself up, walking over to an empty spot in the living room. “I’m thinking here,” he says, spreading his hands out. “Thoughts?”

“Great,” Ben nods, though he doesn’t actually totally care. He tries to, for Joe and Rami. He doesn’t want to be the person who doesn’t want kids so they’re not excited about things like this. 

“You _are_ right, though,” Joe says. “I don’t care if we have a boy with a pink crib.”

“I would hope not,” Ben says. “That would shock me.”

“Besides,” Joe shrugs, sitting back down on the floor. “If the first one is a boy, maybe the second one will be a girl.”

If Ben had a drink, he would spit it out. God, first yesterday about Joe and Rami leaving the baby to Mary, and now apparently there’s going to be _two_ babies? How many bombs did Joe plan on dropping in the three days that Rami and Gwil were away? “ _Excuse me_?” Ben asks loudly. “A— sorry, what are you talking about? Who—” He looks at Joe, who’s got a bit a of sheepish look on his face. Ben takes a breath, trying to collect his thoughts. “Joe,” he says.

“Yes?” Joe asks hesitantly.

“Who is having a second baby?” Ben asks.

Joe shrugs. “I…don’t know. I…kind of wanted to talk to you about it.”

Ben just look at him in confusion. “Talk to me about what? Have you talked to _Rami_ about it? Are you two going to have anoth— the first baby isn’t even here yet!”

“I know that,” Joe says. “I know. And no. I haven’t talked to Rami about it yet. I wanted to ask you first.”

“Ask me what?” Ben asks. “I— I’m not having a baby for you so I don’t know what you need my help with.”

Joe just looks at Ben. “I don’t know,” he says, “you are my best friend, so I kind of thought this could be something we talk about. Like, is it a ridiculous idea, do you think? Is it dumb? I know Rami and I have only ever talked about one—”

“Yeah,” Ben says, “for years, that’s all you’ve talked about. Why argue about whose DNA it would be if you could just…both?” 

“Do you know if Rami’s mentioned it at all?” Joe asks.

Ben shakes his head. “No,” he says. “Not to me. And not to Gwil that I know of.”

“But is it dumb?” Joe asks. 

“I just don’t know where it came from,” Ben says. “I—” He shakes his head. “I…this is the first I’m hearing about it, I just need a second to think.” He swallows hard, looking away from Joe, going back to the crib.

“I’ve just been thinking,” Joe says. “I’m one of three, Rami’s one of three—”

“So now you’re having _three_?” Ben asks.

“No!” Joe exclaims. “No. I’m just— is it so ridiculous to think about having two kids instead of one?”

Ben doesn’t say anything, just looks back down down at the crib again, picking up the instructions to distract himself.

“Benny?” Joe asks. “I’m not looking for like, parenting advice here, just a friend’s opinion.”

Ben bites on his lip, and then shrugs. “I don’t know,” he says quietly.

“Oh,” Joe says. “What don’t you know?”

“I don’t know why people have two children when they only plan on caring about the first,” Ben snaps, his words coming out in a rush before he can even think to stop himself. He can see Joe flinch back a bit at that, and Ben looks back down, his face feeling hot with embarrassment. 

Joe scoffs, shaking his head. “I…okay.”

“I’m sorry,” Ben says softly. “That was rude.”

Joe purses his lips, thinking. “Yeah, it was,” he says after a moment. “Look, I— I’m your best friend. I one hundred percent accept your experience and I know that…that’s true for you.” Joe swallows hard. “But do you _really_ think that Rami and I would ever do that?”

Ben shakes his head. “No,” he says, “of course not. I—” His bottom lip trembles a bit, and he can feel it, he immediately knows that this is one of those things that he can’t take back, and that he’ll regret bringing up for forever. “You and Rami will be brilliant fathers. One, two, it doesn’t…it doesn’t matter.” He nods, staring down at the crib. “I need a drink,” he says suddenly, pushing himself up.

“Ben,” Joe says.

“Just— talk to your husband,” Ben says, glancing back at him. “Ask him what he thinks. Not me. I— I don’t know.” He walks into the kitchen, gripping onto the counter, leaning over the sink. He takes a few deep breaths, closing his eyes, and his fingers tighten when he hears Joe step into the kitchen. But Joe doesn’t say anything right away, and Ben doesn’t either.

“Benny,” Joe says after a few moments.

“Did you want something to drink?” Ben asks, eyes still closed.

“Benny,” Joe says again. “Do you know how long it’s been since you’ve talked to your parents?”

Ben swallows hard, and lets out a shaky breath. He knows, Joe knows, they both know each other knows.

“Are we ever really going to deal with it?” Joe asks.

Ben shakes his head. “There’s nothing to deal with,” he says. “I’m fine.”

“Uhhhhh.” Joe chuckles awkwardly, sighing. “I…don’t think that’s true,” he says. “You still seem pretty angry. Which, fair, I— fully support. But I think there’s gotta be a healthier way of dealing with this.”

Ben shakes his head again. “I don’t want to,” he says. “I’m sorry I snapped at you, and I—” He straightens up and turns around, looking at Joe. “I know that you and Rami are going to be good parents. If you— if you— if you want a second one, then…okay.” He tries giving Joe a small smile. “I just didn’t realize that you— that was on the table. A— another baby, wow.”

“Ben,” Joe says, taking a step towards him. “You should call them.”

Ben shakes his head. “No,” he says, “I won’t.”

“Text. Email.”

“Stop it, Joe, no,” Ben says. “I don’t want to.”

“There’s no closure here,” Joe says. “That’s— you don’t even want to tell them off? I mean, fuck, I’ll rent a car and drive you to their house myself if I have to. _Something_ has to happen here, Ben!”

“Please stop,” Ben says quietly. “I’m sorry.” He steps forward, trying to navigate by Joe, but Joe just opens his arms up, pulling Ben in. “Joe, let me—”

“We don’t have to talk,” Joe says, gently rubbing Ben’s back. “We can just…I’m good with just this for now.” He gently squeezes Ben. “Just need a hug from my best friend. That’s okay right?”

Ben nods, leaning down to rest his head against Joe’s shoulder. “I should check on the girls soon,” he says softly. “Haven’t seen them in awhile.”

Joe nods. “We will,” he says. “They’re okay, though, I’m sure.” Ben makes a quiet noise. “Are _you_ okay?” Joe asks. “You gotta talk to me, Ben. I didn’t know it was still hurting you like that. You never said.”

Ben closes his eyes, and a couple tears spill over, and he nuzzles against Joe’s shoulder. “It’s the only thing.”

“The only thing what?” Joe asks.

Ben sniffles gently, trying to cover the sound so that Joe doesn’t hear it. “The only thing I…” Joe pulls back and Ben has to straighten up, looking down at his feet. “I’m better in a lot of ways, and that’s the only thing that isn’t fixed.”

“Okay,” Joe says. “So, how do you wanna fix it?” He smiles at Ben. “I wasn’t joking about driving to their house, you know.”

“Yes, Joe, I know,” Ben says. He wipes at his eyes, and Joe steps away from him to walk over to the refrigerator, grabbing a couple drinks. “Can we just go back to putting the cot together?” Ben asks.

“Ben,” Joe says with an almost stern tone to his voice.

“No, I— I know,” Ben says. “Please. I just need to think about it. Okay?”

Joe look at Ben, and then sighs. “I— fine,” he says. “Okay.” He hands a drink over to Ben. “Come on,” he says. “Let’s go figure out how those wheels attach.”

Ben nods, and the two of them walk back down the hallway together. “Are you really thinking about another baby?” Ben asks, glancing at Joe. “You know the first one isn’t even born yet.”

“I know,” Joe says.

“Matthew’s an only child, he seems to be making out alright,” Ben says.

“Yeah,” Joe says, and they sit back down on the floor. “But he’s got Leah and Noah, and they’re all so close they may as well be his siblings. Who’s my kid going to have?” 

“Me and Gwil,” Ben says. “Their uncles, obviously.”

“I meant sort of in the same age group,” Joe says. “Though you are the baby, so.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Ben says, smiling despite himself. The smile fades though, and he looks back down at the floor, picking at the carpet, dragging his fingernails against it.

“Benny?” Joe asks softly.

“Nothing,” Ben says, shaking his head. “I— what other surprises do you have planned for me? I— I’m not sure my heart can take much more.”

“I think that’s it,” Joe says, and Ben blows out a breath, nodding. “I’d fix it if I could.”

Ben shrugs. “Maybe it can’t be fixed,” he says. “I…have my family.” He gives Joe a quick smile that fades. “You’re my family.”

Joe nods. “I am,” he agrees.

“And…that’s all there is to it,” Ben says. “I want to be done with it. I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

“Okay,” Joe says. They go back to work in awkward silence; after a few minutes, Joe pushes himself up, disappearing upstairs without a word. Ben looks up, wondering if Joe’s gone off to call Gwil, ask him to come back or how to deal with this. Joe comes back downstairs after a few moments, humming softly to himself. He’s got a notepad and a pen in his hands, and he sets them down on the floor before he heads back into the kitchen. He comes back with a bottle of liquor, and then sits down. “Okay,” Joe says again. “First of all,” he says, waving of the liquor bottle, “I don’t encourage this as a way to deal with your feelings.”

Ben swallows hard, thinking about the times he has turned to alcohol in that way; it’s been awhile, and Ben tries to avoid it now, but there’s something in him that still sees it as a way to help. That’s why he avoids it. Ben nods.

“ _But_ ,” Joe says, “one shot. That’ll really get the juices flowing.”

Ben frowns. “Juices?” he asks.

Joe grabs the notepad and the pen, putting them down in front of Ben. “It’s cathartic.”

“What?” Ben asks.

“I’ve seen this done,” Joe says. “You write everything down, get _everything_ out, all of it.”

Ben’s mouth goes dry. “And then?” he asks, worried that Joe’s about to suggest that he mails something to his family.

“We burn it,” Joe says, nodding. “It’s— well, I don’t know if it has a specific name or not. But I think it works.”

Ben’s mouth twitches; he almost wants to smile, first at the absolute ridiculousness of this— they were putting together a goddamn cot for the baby ten minutes ago, and now Joe’s become his therapist. But part of him also wants to be smile because…this is Joe. His best mate. Married, with a baby just weeks away, and Joe still wants to help Ben. “Who told you it works?” he asks, picking up the notepad.

“Oh, I know things,” Joe says. “Never doubt the depths of my knowledge, Benjamin.” Ben rolls his eyes, watching as Joe unscrews the lid on the bottle. “Do you want in, or no?” Joe asks.

“It sounds like a surefire way to ruin a night,” Ben says.

Joe shrugs. “It’s Tuesday,” he says. “If tonight sucks, there’s always Wednesday. Gwil and Rami aren’t back until Thursday.”

“I’m not your responsibility, Joe,” Ben says. “It’s alright if— if something’s wrong and it can’t be fixed.”

Joe looks at Ben, and then he shrugs, lifting the bottle to his mouth, taking a swig. “Oh my god, I hate this,” Joe breathes out, making a face. “Whew. No.”

Ben finally smiles. “Why do you have it if you hate it?” he asks, reaching out to take the bottle from Joe.

“Because I’m a good host,” Joe says.

Ben rolls his eyes, and he looks at the bottle, sighing. He’s about to raise it to his lips, and then he just shakes his head, handing it back over to Joe. “I’ll write your stupid letter,” he says.

“It’s not _stupid_!” Joe exclaims.

“But I don’t want that,” Ben finishes.

“Okay,” Joe says, and he screws the lid back on. “Bit annoyed that I had to drink it and you didn’t, but okay.” He pushes the bottle aside, and takes his phone out, quickly typing. “Okay, see? This website says…blah blah blah, ahem, _what letter do you need to write? You won’t actually send it, but what needs to come out? Who do you need to write it to? Is there a second letter that needs to be written? Do you need to write one to yourself? Is there a story that hasn’t been told? A feeling that has yet to be expressed or words that have yet to be heard? Perhaps there is forgiveness that needs to be given._ ” He looks at Ben. “That’s deep.” Joe scrolls down. “It says once we’re done that we should take a hot bath or eat a brownie.”

Ben snorts. “I’m not taking a bath with you,” he says.

“Whatever,” Joe says, rolling his eyes. 

Ben picks up the pen and the notepad, and sighs. He taps the pen against the paper a couple times, looking at Joe. “You’re serious,” he says.

“I am,” Joe says. “It’s cathartic.”

“It’s stupid,” Ben mutters.

“That’s why it won’t work!” Joe says. “Because you think it’s dumb. Maybe if you stopped thinking things are dumb, they would work for you.”

“Well, I can’t do it with you staring at me,” Ben says.

“Do you want to go have a hot bath?” Joe asks. “Alone, I mean.”

“Why do you even want me to do this?” Ben asks.

“Uh, because I just asked you about my possible future children, and you insulted me and my husband,” Joe says. “So _clearly_ something is happening here that you aren’t telling me about. I mean, don’t you write in that journal I bought you?”

Ben nods. “I do, yeah,” he says.

“Good,” Joe says. “Nice to know my hard-earned money didn’t go to waste.” He smiles at Ben. “You know what, we deserve a treat.” He pushes himself up. “I’m going to get us something really fucking delicious.” He reaches out, playing with Ben’s hair. “Curly,” he says softly. “You write, I’ll be back. Coke Zero, anyone?”

Ben smiles, watching Joe walk out of the living room. He sighs, smile fading when he looks back at the paper. It’s not as if Joe is completely wrong— clearly Ben still has some issues regarding his family. He knows that. Most days he ignores it with no issue, but when he stops to think about it, he’s still torn between showing back up and telling them off and demanding to know why, or just completely forgetting about them. His doctor still asks about it sometimes, and Ben never has an answer. He’s not sure that he ever will. He doesn’t think he’s prepared to make a decision either way. So he just ignores it. And he can just keep ignoring it. Ben hears Joe leave the flat, so he could pretend to write a letter, and then just burn a blank page, showing Joe the ashes when he comes back.

Ben taps the pen against his lips, and then sighs. This is not an enjoyable way for him to spend his time, but he knows Joe is trying to help, so at the very least, Ben can write a letter about why he doesn’t want to write a letter. Joe won’t give him that Coke Zero if he comes back and Ben’s got nothing to show for it.

Ben starts with _Dear_ and then scratches it out, and just go with _Mum and Dad_ , and then scratches that out too. He groans and decides _fuck that_ , it won’t be addressed to anyone, so he just starts writing.

He’s not used to writing without editing as he goes, and he can feel himself telling himself, _oh, that word, not a good choice, oh, is that spelled correctly?_ Ben shakes his head, trying to just focus on writing. He gets through one page quickly; when he’s writing without thought, his handwriting gets bigger, messier, less legible to anyone but him, so it doesn’t take much that to fill a page. He gets through the second one as well; it takes a bit longer. He doesn’t really know what he’s saying; his face feels warm, his hand hurts a bit from the way that he’s gripping the pen so tightly. It’s a mishmash of crap, basically. He thought he started writing it as a letter to his parents, and then to his brother, and now it’s devolved into…he’s not even sure. A story about Gwil and the lives they’ve built together, and are going to continue to build together, and how Ben is excited for it. A thank you to Joe, for all the help and support Joe’s given him over the years, and an apology for anything that Joe may have had to give up in an effort to take care of him. An ode to Rami, who had struggles of his own back home, lost everything, and is still the kindest person Ben’s ever met. He even includes a message to the baby; that part makes him smile at least, even as hot tears fills his eyes and spill over his cheeks.

He ends it just as abruptly as it started. He’s not really sure how long he’s been writing for; it feels like Joe’s been gone for forever, honestly. So Ben just pushes the notebook away from him and collapses onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. He reaches up, wiping at his eyes, and then sniffles. What a fucking shit way to spend a Tuesday. If he wanted a therapy session, he would have gone to actual therapy.

Ben doesn’t hear Joe approach until he’s just a couple feet away, and Ben jumps as Joe sits down and then snuggles against Ben’s side. “I didn’t hear you come back,” Ben says.

“I didn’t technically leave,” Joe says, and Ben turns, looking at him. “I just pretended to. I’ve been in the dining room on my phone.”

“You arsehole,” Ben says. “I only wrote it so that you’d give me a sweet after.”

Joe smiles. “I know,” he says. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you your treat.” He stretches out, grabbing onto the notebook.

“Please don’t,” Ben says, but Joe just closes the notebook, handing it over to Ben.

“I wouldn’t,” Joe says. “How do you feel?”

“Why didn’t you leave?” Ben asks. “I mean, I— not that I didn’t…just.”

“I was honestly going to,” Joe says, “but then I sort of realized that leaving you here with nothing but a big ole bottle of liquor and your rage might not be the best idea I’ve ever had, and I’m trying to work on having better ideas before there’s an actual baby in my house. So, again, how do you feel?”

“It doesn’t change anything,” Ben says stubbornly.

“But do you feel any better?” Joe asks. “Even if it’s just a bit, even if it’s just for five minutes. Did it help?”

Ben sighs. “I’ll have to burn it first to see.”

“ _Fantastic_ ,” Joe says, eagerly pushing himself up. He holds his hand out for Ben, helping him stand. “I know we’ve got a lighter for candles. The sink. I’ll pour some water just in case things get ugly.” 

Ben has to smile, and he follows Joe into the kitchen. “Do we get treats after?” he asks.

“Definitely,” Joe says. “We’ll wipe your face and blow your nose and head out.” Joe grabs the matches, and pours a glass of water, holding it in his hands. 

Ben rips out the pages he frantically scribbled on and then looks down, holding the paper in his hands. He frowns a bit, sighing. “Do you ever get tired of me?” he asks.

“What?” Joe asks. “No, of course not.”

“Are you sure?” Ben asks. “Because I wrote an apology if you do.” He looks at Joe, and then reaches out, offering him the paper.

Joe shakes his head, and gently pushes the paper away. “I don’t need that,” he says. “Throw it in the sink.”

“Okay,” Ben says softly, and he nods, folding the paper up, putting it in the sink.

“You wanna do the pleasure?” Joe asks, holding up the matches.

Ben sighs, and takes the matches from Joe, pulling one out of the small box. “I don’t think this is how either of expected tonight to go,” he says, striking the match. For a moment, he imagines himself with a cigarette in his mouth, lifting the match up to light it. Then he thinks of Roger, and Gwil, and he doesn’t really miss it. He looks at the flame, feeling the heat against his fingertips. “I’m not the same person I was.”

“Nobody said you aren’t,” Joe says.

“I’m better,” Ben says. “In a lot of ways. Most ways. _Really_ better.”

“I know,” Joe says. “This letter thing was just to humour me. Just don’t burn yourself.”

Ben smiles, and then tosses the match onto the letter. “Don’t worry,” he says, “I don’t have a fire kink.”

“Small miracles,” Joe says. He steps forward, looking into the sink, holding onto his glass of water as the paper burns. “Is it helping yet?” Joe asks, looking over at Ben.

Ben shrugs. “Not particularly,” he says. “Not with what you want it to help with.”

“What _is_ it helping with?” Joe asks. “Making me look like an idiot?”

“No,” Ben says. “It’s a bonding experience.” He looks at Joe, giving him a small smile. “The people I wrote that letter to, they wouldn’t care. But you do.” He reaches out, turning the sink on, watching the water douse the fire. He looks at what’s left of the paper for a little while longer, then turns, pulling Joe into a hug. “You’ll be an amazing father to one baby, two, three…four is too many.”

“So many,” Joe says, laughing. He pats Ben’s back, squeezing him close, careful not to spill his glass of water. “I do love you, you know.”

“I do,” Ben says, and he takes a deep breath, snuggling against Joe. “I love you too.” They stand there for a few moments longer, until Joe steps back, smiling up at him.

“You wanna get some snacks?” Joe asks. “Finish putting that crib together?”

Ben nods. “Yeah,” he says, “that sounds great.”

\+ + + + +

There are more hotels and B&Bs in Torquay than Rami and Gwil know what to do with. They picked a hotel that is frankly too fancy for either of them, but that is a short walk to both the Agatha Christie Gallery, and a crime museum that Rami found while he was doing research. Because of course Torquay has a crime museum for Rami.

That’s where they spent their Tuesday afternoon, after they got off the train— Gwil following Rami around the museum as he bounced from serial killer to serial killer. They walked around a bit, finding a restaurant that seemed alright, and then they went to the Little Theatre, a small playhouse by their hotel, to watch a comedy. They both enjoyed it, having no real idea what the plot was before they went, they just wanted something to do together on holiday.

Wednesday morning, Rami excitedly rolls out of bed, heading over to the large window to look out over the water. Gwil stretches out, groaning as he rubs his eyes, and then he pushes himself up a bit to look at the time. “Rami,” Gwil says, and Rami turns around.

“Today’s the day!” he says, and Gwil can only smile, which turns into a yawn.

They’re picked up by their tour guide at 9:30 in the morning, Gwil sending Ben a good luck text as they get into the car. It’s not a very popular time of year for tourism, and it’s certainly not swimming weather, so when they get out of the car at Antsey’s Cove, it’s quiet. But still gorgeous.

They walk around the small cove as their tour guide, Piran, explains, “Agatha used to come here for moonlit picnics. She also came here for romantic rendezvous; one of them was with a man named Amyas Boston, an RAF pilot. But she rejected him, and later used his name for a murder victim in _Five Little Pigs_.”

Gwil smiles, watching Rami take it all in; Gwil hasn’t read _Five Little Pigs_ , but Rami seems to know who Amyas is, and finds it all terribly interesting.

After Antsey’s Cove, they drive to a beach, and then on to a hotel, where they get out and have a drink, listening as Piran tells them that this is where Agatha Christie and her first husband spent their honeymoon.

“Just think,” Gwil says softly, “you and Joe could have come here instead of Italy.”

Rami smiles and shrugs. “There’s always our anniversary,” he says, and Gwil laughs.

Part of their tour includes going back to the very hotel where they’re staying, and Gwil looks at Rami as they pull up, an amused smile on his face. “Really,” he says.

“I didn’t know!” Rami exclaims.

“Really,” Gwil says again. “Alright.” Gwil and Rami learn that apparently the hotel they just _randomly_ picked was frequently visited by Agatha Christie, as it held a number of social functions back in her time, and it was also featured in one of her books, but renamed to the Majestic.

“That’s why I didn’t know,” Rami says. “How would I know?”

“Because you know everything,” Gwil says, and Rami can’t but smile a little at that.

They stop for lunch, Piran recommending a couple places and letting Gwil and Rami pick whatever sounds good. As they sit and eat, Rami and Gwil send quick messages home, but then they also get to talking; Piran and Rami share their obvious interest in Agatha Christie, but Piran also recognizes them both, and talks about how his brother also studied engineering.

“Everyone’s an engineer,” Gwil remarks, “but nobody else is a botanist.” He shakes his head sadly while Rami smiles.

“Well,” Piran says, leaning forward in his seat, “if you’re up for it, after we walk the Agatha Christie Mile, there is a bit of time in the afternoon where people can sort of pick and choose what they want to visit. At Torre Abbey, there’s a greenhouse with a poison garden inspired by her work.”

“Oooh,” Rami says, nudging Gwil. “A _poison garden_. Doesn’t that sound lovely, Gwil?”

Gwil has to admit that it does, and Rami grins at him.

Later, after lunch, when they’re at the Abbey, Piran tells them, “Agatha’s fascination with poisons began during WWI, when she worked as a nurse and later qualified as a pharmacy dispenser,” and Rami looks at Gwil excitedly.

“Maybe _you_ could work in a pharmacy,” Rami says, and Gwil just smiles, shaking his head.

“I’m not entirely sure that’s where my interests lay,” Gwil says.

“Oh,” Rami says. “Well, maybe you can find famous gardens to give tours in then, like this.”

“Hmm,” Gwil says, looking around, nodding slowly. He’s not really sure what sort of job that is, but it sounds a bit more on track.

“Agatha’s descriptions of poisoning were so accurate that some doctors used her novels as reference,” Piran continues, “and there are reports of at least two lives being saved thanks to medical staff recognizing poisoning symptoms from her stories.”

“Wow,” Rami says. “That’s amazing.”

The tour takes them to Greenway House, and Piran leads them through the gardens, explaining how Agatha Christie used the paths as the inspiration for _Dead Man’s Folly_ , and Rami takes more photos on his mobile than they can count. When they go inside, they sit down for a Devonshire cream tea, and Piran explains the difference between a Devonshire cream tea and a Cornish cream tea, while Rami looks around.

“I know I told Joe we don’t need a big house,” he starts, and Gwil chuckles, taking a sip of tea.

“But suddenly you’re inspired?” Gwil asks, and Rami shrugs.

“I sort of like the idea of a grand holiday home,” Rami says.

“I’m sure you do,” Gwil says, “who doesn’t?”

After tea, Piran drives them back to their hotel, and they both thank him profusely for the day. Rami and Piran exchange email addresses so they can continue talking about Agatha Christie and the Mercury, and then Gwil and Rami head back to their room, simultaneously collapsing onto their bed.

“What a day,” Rami says.

“It was,” Gwil says, and he stretches out, looking over at Rami. “Did you still want to go to the cinema tonight?”

Rami nods. “I would,” he says. They lay there for a few moments longer before Rami takes out his mobile, sending a picture of Greenway to Joe, and then checks the train times for the following day.

Gwil groans, and stretches out some more, before reaching down to untie his boots, kicking them off.

“Did you like it?” Rami asks, curling onto his side, looking at Gwil.

“Of course I did,” Gwil says.

“Really?” Rami asks, and Gwil nods. “Okay, good.”

“Did you?” Gwil asks, and Rami grins, nodding eagerly, and Gwil has to smile back. “Good. It was fun. It was lovely.” Gwil inhales deeply, and lets out a heavy breath, shifting on the mattress. He’s surprised that Rami is so quiet, expecting him to be rattling on about how much fun he tour was, so Gwil looks over at him again. “How are you?”

“Thinking,” Rami says.

“About what?” Gwil asks. “Have you decided to become a mystery writer? Are you inspired by all those poisons?”

“No,” Rami says. “Just…you can’t really take a baby on a day tour like this.”

“Not really, no,” Gwil says. “That’s why we came now. In the freezing January weather, instead of waiting for a lovely spring day.”

“Mm,” Rami murmurs. He rolls onto his back, stretching out.

“You aren’t sad about it,” Gwil says. “I know you’re more excited for your baby than anything else. Besides, it’s not as you can’t go anywhere or do anything ever again. If you and Joe want to go somewhere, you know Ben and I would watch them.”

“I know,” Rami says. He blows out a breath. “I’m being silly. Why does my brain— we had a lovely day. I just need to stop.”

Gwil looks at Rami, reaching out to touch his arm. “Would you like to go for a walk?” he asks. “We still have some time before our film.”

Rami nods, and they push themselves up; Gwil puts his boots back on, and they head back outside. Just down the road from the hotel, there’s a small cove with stone steps, and Gwil and Rami head there, looking out over the water. 

“I’m really happy you came with me,” Rami says, looking at Gwil.

“I’m happy I came too,” Gwil says.

“You’re my best mate,” Rami says, and Gwil smiles.

“And you’re mine,” he replies.

Rami smiles a bit at that, looking back over the water. “My life is going to be very different soon,’ he says.

“It certainly is,” Gwil agrees.

Rami makes a quiet noise. “But you’ll still be there,” he says. “Right?”

Gwil’s smile grows. “Where else would I be?” he says, reaching out to rest his hand on Rami’s arm. “Think we’ve been through enough together; you having a baby isn’t going to be the thing that scares me off.”

Rami nods. “I’m going to be a father.”

“Oh, I know,” Gwil says, and he pats Rami on the arm before he drops his hand back down by his side. “I’ve only been hearing about it for months now.”

“I’m going to be a _weird_ father,” Rami says. “Aren’t I?”

Gwil opens his mouth to answer, then stops to think, and then he smiles.

“What?” Rami asks.

“Nothing,” Gwil says, shaking his head. “Just that…you might be a bit odd,” he says. “But you certainly can’t be any weirder than Joe.”

Rami laughs loudly at that, the sound ringing through the air. He giggles, looking at Gwil. “I just…I want to be good at it.”

“You will be,” Gwil says. “You both will be.”

“I’m just nervous,” Rami says. “I’ve never had an— I’m going to be responsible for a whole human life. I’ve never done that before. What if I do it all wrong?”

“Are you joking?” Gwil asks, and Rami frowns, looking at him. “Rami, you— you were responsible for the entire crew of the Mercury. The British government thought you were good enough to be responsible for the entire future of our country. This is just one baby. How hard could it be?” He smiles at Rami. “I know it’s easy for me to say, but— you can’t do it _all_ wrong. Everybody makes mistakes, and their children are still okay.”

Rami looks at Gwil, smiling faintly. “Well, what if I…what if I drop them?” he asks.

Gwil chuckles. “I don’t think you will. But if you do, that’s okay. I’m sure babies are dropped every day and make out just fine. You’ll just watch them to make sure they’re alright after.”

“You’ve got an answer for everything,” Rami says.

“Oh, yes,” Gwil says. “Between you and Ben, I’ve got quite the work cut out for me, assuring you you’ll be alright. I’ve got all sorts of practice.”

“Thank you,” Rami says, looking back out over the water. “I…thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Gwil says, and he watches Rami for a few moments longer before he looks out over the water as well.

\+ + + + +

Ben comes out of the bathroom, yawning loudly, looking over at Joe who’s already in bed, Mustardseed curled up near his feet.

“Tired?” Joe asks, looking up from his phone, and Ben nods, crawling into bed alongside Joe, hearing Mustard meow. “What sort of job are you going to be able to find that starts at…” He looks at Ben. “Noon?”

Ben smiles, giving Joe the finger. “Very funny,” he says, getting settled on his back.

“I thought so,” Joe says. He grunts as he stretches out under the blankets. “I can’t wait to be a stay-at-home dad.”

“Oh, I get it now,” Ben says, and Joe looks at him. “You want two children so you can stay home longer.”

Joe laughs. “I mean, you say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“It is,” Ben says, “just a bit.”

Joe smiles, making a quiet noise, and after a few moments, his smile fades. “I am scared, though,” he says, looking over at Ben.

“You?” Ben asks. “I’ve never known you to be scared of anything.” He rolls onto his side, looking over at Joe. “What could possibly be scaring Joseph Malek-Mazzello?”

Joe swallows hard, and blows out a breath, looking at the ceiling. “Do you think I’ll be a good dad?” he asks.

“You?” Ben asks. “Joe, you’re going to the _best_ dad. Well, tied for best. I can’t count Rami out here. What’s going on, why would you even say that?”

Joe puts his hands together on his stomach, and starts nervously picking at a hangnail on his thumb. “I’m just worried.”

“I know,” Ben says, and he shifts closer to Joe. “I think that’s normal. I would be too. I mean, I sort of am, and it’s not even my kid.”

“I just keep thinking about my dad,” Joe says. Ben nods and waits for Joe to continue. “I always thought he’d be here to help. Help me be a dad, I mean.”

“Yeah,” Ben says softly.

“And—” Joe lets out a soft broken laugh. “And Rami’s dad isn’t here either. So. We really lucked out, huh? I don’t know.” He reaches up again, wiping at his eyes this time. “I— I feel like I need someone to tell me what to do. And I just— I don’t know.”

Ben reaches his arm out over Joe’s chest, snuggling against him. “You have your mum,” he says.

“Yeah, but she won’t be here all the time,” Joe says. He shakes his head and then groans. “Ugh, I’m sorry. I know I’m…ugh, being all dark and weird and depressing for no reason.” He looks around for Mustardseed. “Where’s that goddamn cat?” he asks. “I need a snuggle.”

“It’s not for no reason,” Ben says. “Having a baby is a _big_ deal. I know you’re excited, and happy, and I know you’re ready. But yeah, in…six weeks, there’s going to be a little person sleeping across the hallway. Who needs you to feed them, and change them, and bathe them, and protect them.”

“Is that supposed to be helpful right now?” Joe asks.

Ben smiles. “And they’re going to give you hugs when you’re sad, and come show you cool bugs they found, and they’re going to love you. Because you’re going to be their dad.” Joe looks over at him, and Ben presses a kiss to his arm. “It won’t always be good,” he says. “But when it’s bad, you have Rami, and me, and Gwil, and your mum, and Nelly, and Felix, and—”

“Okay, okay,” Joe says, “I get the point.” He sighs. “You and Gwil live in a different country.”

“We live two hours away,” Ben says. “And I’ll be around more in the summer, you know that. I don’t have to be in Aber all the time to write my dissertation, and when I am there, you and Rami can bring the baby to visit any time you want. You know that. And if you ever need a break, we’ll be there to help.”

“I shouldn’t need a break from my own kid,” Joe says.

Ben snorts. Then he snorts again, and starts sarcastically laughing. “Ha ha ha.”

“What?” Joe asks.

“Oh, come _on_ ,” Ben says. “You’re trying to tell me, that the whole week they were here, Mary never needed a break from Matthew? John never needed a break from Leah and Noah? Come on. _You_ needed a break from them.”

“That’s different,” Joe says.

“No, it’s not,” Ben says. “Yeah, they’re your kid. But they’re also still a person, and frankly, some people— you just need a break from. Come on, you ring me and Gwil up, _oh, Rami and I just need a night out, can you swing by?_ What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing, I guess,” Joe says. He sighs. “Now I feel dumb.”

“You’re not dumb,” Ben says. “Not really.”

“Gee, thanks,” Joe says, and Ben grins. Ben pushes himself up a bit, settling back down on Joe’s chest, snuggling against him. Joe wraps his arms around him, and takes a deep breath, making a quiet noise. “Ben?” he says softly.

“Mm, yeah,” Ben murmurs, closing his eyes, already ready to go to sleep. 

“I know that sometimes people drift apart, when one of them has a kid,” Joe says. “I don’t want that to happen with us.”

Ben lifts his head up, looking down at Joe. “I don’t want that to happen with us either. You’re my best mate.” Joe nods. “After everything we’ve been through, I— I think we’ll be okay.”

“Following you wherever you go,” Joe says, and Ben smiles, snuggling back down against Joe’s chest. 

“So I’ve heard,” Ben says flatly, and Joe laughs, giving Ben a playful shake.

“Never getting away from me,” Joe says, and Ben groans.

“Not that lucky,” Ben says, and Joe keeps smiling. “We have to work tomorrow,” Ben says. “We should sleep.”

“Okay,” Joe says, and he keeps his arms wrapped around Ben. “You have to _work_ ,” he says softly.

“Well, not really,” Ben shrugs. “You know what I mean.”

“I do,” Joe says. “I just think it’s cool. Did you have a good time so far this week?”

Ben nods. “Yeah,” he says, “I did. I— I really like it.”

“Good,” Joe says, and he stretches out under Ben, pressing a kiss to the top of his head and snuggling back into the bed. “I’m so proud of you.”

Ben makes a quiet noise, trying not to cry, and he nods. “Thank you,” he says softly. “That means a lot.”

Joe nuzzles his nose against Ben’s hair, and then yawns. “Goodnight.”

Ben nods slowly against Joe’s chest. “Goodnight, Joe.”

\+ + + + +

Gwil and Rami visit the Agatha Christie Gallery on Thursday morning before they leave, Rami grinning the entire time. They get lunch at a restaurant near a dinosaur museum, and Rami thinks about how nice it would be to maybe take the baby there in a few years. After lunch, they go back and check out of the hotel, getting a taxi to the train station, heading back to London.

Gwil and Rami get off the train in Paddington, and then get on the underground, heading to Westminster. They get out, and glance around, heading towards the IIS building. 

“Do you want to come in?” Rami asks, looking at his watch. “Or should we just wait outside?’ 

“You don’t have to wait outside in the cold for me,” Gwil says. “If you go in, I can watch our things.”

“Certainly not,” Rami says, and he stretches out, leaning against the stairs leading up to the IIS. “We’ll wait right here. My darling husband should only be a few more minutes.”

“How do you know he’s not already home?” Gwil asks, smiling. “He doesn’t actually work, you know.”

“He better be in there,” Rami says, looking at his watch again. “Or he’ll be hearing from me.”

Gwil laughs softly. “Is that as scary as you think it is?” he asks.

“Gwil!” Rami says sharply, giving Gwil a push, and Gwil just laughs some more. “You better be on your best behaviour.”

“Or what?” Gwil asks. “I’m not afraid of you.”

“Mm,” Rami nods. “I’ll think of something. Something to tell Ben.”

“Oh god,” Gwil says. “I eagerly await it.”

Rami gives Gwil a wink, and then bounces up and down on his feet, half to keep warm in the chilly air, half to just get some of his energy out. He looks at his watch a couple more times, while Gwil just looks around, watching people walk by, before the door opens, and Rami bounces up on his feet again. “Joey!” he says excitedly, and Joe grins, holding the door open for the person behind him, letting them go first before he hurries down the stairs towards Rami, wrapping his arms around him.

“Babe!” Joe exclaims. “What are you doing here?” He groans as he tightens his arms Rami. “I thought we were meeting back home.”

Rami pulls back and shrugs, before leaning in to give Joe a kiss. “I wanted to see you.”

“Well, I wanted to see you too,” Joe says, reaching up to brush his fingers over Rami’s temple before he leans in to give him another kiss. “Welcome back to London.”

“Thank you,” Rami says, and he steps back for Gwil to step forward, giving Joe a quick hug.

“Hi,” Gwil says, and Joe squeezes him tightly too. “How’ve you been?”

“We’re good!” Joe says, stepping back. “I— yeah. We’re great. Ben will be happy to see you.”

“I’ll be happy to see him,” Gwil says. “Were you supposed to meet him back at the flat, or…”

“I’ve been picking him up afterwards,” Joe says, looking at his watch. “He’s at the British Library today.”

“Are there any restaurants near there?” Rami asks. “We could get supper on the way home.”

“Oh, not tonight,” Joe says, shaking his head.

“No?” Rami asks. “You don’t want to eat out?” He reaches out, putting his hand to Joe’s forehead. “Are you feverish?” he asks.

Gwil grins, and Joe shakes his head, playfully batting Rami’s hand away. “ _No_ ,” Joe says, “I’ve got supper under control. Ben is helping me. We have big plans to welcome our men home from the war.”

“Well then,” Rami says, “we should go, I don’t want Ben to think we’ve forgotten about him.”

“Okay,” Joe says, and he takes Rami’s hand, the three of them start walking towards the bus stop. Joe keeps smiling at Rami and Gwil as they get on, heading towards the library. “I want to know how your trip went, but I also want to wait until Ben’s with us.”

“I want to know what’s for supper,” Rami says, and Joe laughs.

“Gee, thanks, babe,” Joe says. “Really appreciate that.”

They get off and walk up towards the library, and Joe falls back a bit as they get closer, nudging Gwil. “See that sexy blond over there?” he asks, pointing towards where Ben is sitting outside the library. “Think that one’s yours.”

“I think so too,” Gwil says, and he picks up the pace a bit, heading over towards Ben, getting fairly close before Ben glances over and does a double take, finally seeing him.

“Hi!” Ben says, standing up with a huge smile on his face.

“Hello, love,” Gwil says, pulling Ben in.

“I was only expecting Joe,” Ben says. “I thought you and Rami would be back at the flat by now. Hello.” He squeezes Gwil close, snuggling against him. “How are you?”

“Lovely,” Gwil says, reaching up to gently push Ben’s curls back from his forehead, pressing a kiss there. “How are you? How’s work?” he asks, and his smile grows.

“Really well,” Ben says, nodding. “I’m excited to tell you about it.” He steps back, and waves at Rami. “Hi!” he says, and he makes a noise of surprise when Rami runs at him, wrapping his arms around him. “Hello to you too,” Ben says, and Rami nods eagerly, nuzzling against Ben. “I have to say,” Ben says, looking around, “I certainly don’t mind being met by my three favourite people. Feeling a bit spoiled.”

“Do you like working at the library?” Rami asks, stepping back from Ben. “Or do you prefer the museum? Which one was your favourite?”

Ben grins. “Uh, I’m not sure,” he says. “But we can talk about it on the way back to your flat.”

“And are the girls alright?” Rami asks as they start walking back towards the bus. “Oh, was Augie terribly mean to them? I’m so excited to see the baby’s room!”

Ben glances over at Gwil and Joe, giving them a smile before he turns back, listening to Rami.

“I think Rami gets a bit antsy when he only has one person to talk to,” Joe says, looking at Gwil. “It tends to just,” Joe gestures between them, “spill out once there’s another person around.”

“Thank god the baby’s almost here then,” Gwil says, and Joe laughs softly.

“Very true,” Joe says, nodding. “How are you?”

“I’m really well,” Gwil says.

“Yeah?” Joe asks. “Truro was good?’

“Yes,” Gwil says, “it was…different. Than I remembered. Lots of things have changed, but it’s still quite lovely.”

“Good,” Joe says, smiling up at Gwil. “I know it was important for Rami to go.”

Gwil nods. “I think it was important for me too.”

“Cool,” Joe says. “Well, in all my time in England, I’ve never been to Cornwall. Maybe I’ll have to get down there sometime. King Arthur is from there, you know.”

“I have heard that,” Gwil agrees, “but I’m not entirely sure that story is historically accurate.”

Joe shakes his head. “Don’t ruin this for me, Gwil,” he says, and Gwil smiles. “Ooh,” Joe says suddenly, looking forward to where Rami and Ben are walking ahead of them. “I bet Ben knows the history of King Arthur.”

“I’m sure he does,” Gwil says.

“Ben!” Joe calls out, and Ben glances back. “Is King Arthur real?”

Ben frowns a bit, looking at Gwil, who just smiles and shakes his head. “Uh, we can discuss the historicity of King Arthur once I’ve gotten some food in me,” he says, and he looks back at Rami, who’s excitedly gesturing with his hands as he continues to speak.

\+ + + + +

Gwil and Rami set down their bags, and they all take off their shoes, stepping into the flat. Rami takes a deep breath, eyes widening as he looks at Joe. “What is that?” he asks. “It smells delicious!”

“I told you,” Joe says, “Ben and I made supper.”

“We had to welcome you back,” Ben says, smiling. “Though, supper was mostly Joe. I’ve handled dessert.”

“It was a joint effort,” Joe says. He glances at his watch. “It’s cutting it a bit close,” he says, “but I feel like you’re not going to be able to eat until you see the nursery.”

“You thought right,” Rami says, and he starts walking down the hallway. “Oh my gosh!” he gasps out when he walks into the living room.

“Score one for the crib,” Joe murmurs to Ben, who nods.

“Augie!” Rami continues. “That’s not your bed, that’s the baby’s bed!”

Gwil laughs as they all walk into the living room, Rami hurrying over to the crib. “You built Augie a bed,” he says, looking at Ben, “how sweet of you.”

“Well, he deserves it,” Ben says.

“How were the girls?” Gwil asks.

Ben nods. “Really good,” he says. “Mussy slept with us, Blossom slept…who knows where.”

Rami reaches into the crib, picking Augie up, nuzzling against him before carrying him over to his kitty condo. “This is yours,” he says, setting Augie down. “You sleep in here, alright?”

“But what do you think about the crib?” Joe asks. “Look what your manly husband did! I built that!”

“I’m _looking_!” Rami says, walking back over to the crib. “It’s lovely.” He glances at Gwil. “What do you think?”

“It’s very pretty,” Gwil says, walking over. “I— is the baby sleeping down here?”

Ben shakes his head. “Don’t ask,” he says.

“This is a good spot for it, right?” Joe asks Rami, and Rami nods. 

“I like it a lot,” Rami says. “I’m so excited to see how their room looks, though!” He claps his hands together. 

“He’s in a very excitable mood,” Ben says softly, and Gwil nods. 

“I think he had a nice holiday,” Gwil says.

“Did you?” Ben asks, and Gwil nods as they follow Joe and Rami up the stairs.

“Wait, wait,” Joe says, hurrying forward, closing the door to the nursery before Rami turns the corner and looks in. “Okay,” Joe says. “Are you ready to see our baby’s room?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Rami says insistently. “I can’t wait.”

“Okay,” Joe says. He looks at Gwil. “I hope you don’t mind, big guy, but I took some liberties with your mural.”

“Excuse me?” Gwil asks.

"Ignore him,” Ben says, “I didn’t let him touch it.”

Joe grins and opens the door, letting Rami and Gwil walk in first. “I love him,” Joe says, stepping back to speak to Ben, and Ben nods. 

“I know,” he says, smiling back at Joe. “He loves you too.”

“Oh, Joe,” Rami says, walking into the bedroom, looking around. 

Joe looks at Ben, and crosses his fingers, and Ben just smiles, patting Joe on the back.

“I love it,” Rami says. He runs his fingers along the edge of the crib as he looks at the decorations that Joe picked, nodding. “This is very sweet, Joe.” He looks over at Joe, smiling. “I like it.”

“You do?” Joe asks, perking up a bit, and Rami nods.

“What do you think?” Rami asks, looking at Gwil.

“I think it’s wonderful,” Gwil nods, looking at the crib, a grey that matches the colour of the recliner. “And this chair looks comfortable, let me just check.” Gwil sits down, and pulls the handle, reclining back. “Well, I like this quite a bit.”

Ben smiles, rolling his eyes. “That’s such a dad thing to do,” he says.

“What?” Gwil asks, snuggling back into the chair. “I’m just getting comfortable.”

“Exactly,” Ben says. He sits down on the edge of the bed, then pops up again. “Sorry,” he says, walking over to the crib, reaching inside to take Peaseblossom out. “What were you doing in there?” he asks, nuzzling her. “Is this where you’ve been sleeping?”

Rami reaches out, gently touching the mobile over the crib, grey and white felt stars with the moon in the middle.

“I know it doesn’t really go with our huge floral wall,” Joe says, glancing over, “but I thought it was nice, right?”

“It is,” Rami says, nodding. “It’s very sweet.”

“It’s very blue,” Gwil says.

“Hmm?” Ben murmurs, glancing over at him. 

“Blue changing table,” Gwil says, “blue print of Yankees Stadium on the wall— nice touch, by the way, Joe.”

“Of course,” Joe says, smiling. “Thank you.”

“Blue plate on the shelf,” Gwil continues, pointing.

Rami glances over. “Oh! My Kintsugi!” He walks over, gingerly picking up the blue and white plate, repaired with gold filling. “You moved it in here?” he asks, glancing at Joe.

“Sure,” Joe says. “I hope that’s okay. I just thought it…fit.” He smiles. “You know, I know how important that is to you, and how much it symbolizes. I thought keeping it near the baby might be a good…omen.”

Rami smiles, and nods, carefully putting it back on the shelf. “That’s alright,” he says. “I like it in here. And Gwil’s right, it certainly goes.”

“Plus, grey is sort of close to blue,” Gwil continues. “Are you expecting a boy?”

Rami sighs. “Gwil,” he says impatiently, “they don’t do that anymore.”

“They don’t have boys anymore?” Gwil asks, smiling. “How odd.”

“Blue isn’t just for boys,” Rami says. “It’s neutral now. We just bought the things we liked. I picked the pink cot downstairs because I thought it was pretty.”

“I am teasing you, Rami,” Gwil says. “It’s a lovely room. And the pink cot is lovely as well. I don’t mind either way what you have, you know that.”

“So I did okay?” Joe asks.

“You did _wonderfully_ ,” Rami says, and he gives Joe a quick kiss. “Thank you to both of you,” he says. He sticks his leg out, nudging at Gwil’s foot. “Now get out, I want to try.”

“Oh, fine,” Gwil says. He pulls the handle, lowering his feet, rolling his eyes with a smile on his face he pushes himself up. 

“Thank you,” Rami says, climbing onto the chair, settling back. “Oh, I like this,” he says, smiling at Joe.

“I put it here so we could see out the window better when we’re feeding them,” Joe says, and Rami nods.

“I like that,” Rami nods. “Oh, I feel like I need a baby in my arms right now.”

“We can wrap Augie up in a blanket,” Joe says, “see if he’ll nurse.”

“Oh, I think I’d _really_ like to see that,” Ben says. “Yeah. He’d _love_ that.”

“This is a very nice room,” Gwil says, looking around, and he steps over to the mural, scanning his eyes over it. “And this isn’t that bad either.”

“It’s lovely,” Rami says, looking over at it. “This is beautiful. Wonderfully done, lads.” He stands up, clapping his hands together. “What did you make me for supper?” he asks Joe sweetly.

“We made honey balsamic beef stew in the slow cooker,” Joe says. “How does that sound?”

“Delicious,” Rami says. “just the thing to warm us up.” He walks towards the door, then stops, looking at the Malek family tree hanging up on the wall, and he smiles, looking over at Joe. “We’ll have to get a new one made,” he says, holding his hand out to Joe. “Malek-Mazzello.”

“Okay,” Joe says, and he smiles, taking Rami’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as they walk out of the nursery.

“What part of this stew did you make?” Gwil asks, looking at Ben as they follow Rami and Joe downstairs.

“I helped chop the vegetables,” Ben says. Gwil murmurs, nodding. “And I made strawberry crumble for dessert.”

Gwil grins, lean in to give Ben a kiss. “What a welcome home,” he says, and Ben smiles back.

\+ + + + +

Dinner and the rest of the evening is mostly spent between Rami excitedly recounting everything they learned about Agatha Christie, and Ben telling Rami and Gwil about the work he’s been doing so far this week. It’s a quiet evening, they just stay in, giving themselves time to relax and rest up after a busy few days. Ben heads to bed first, giving Gwil a quick kiss, and letting Rami pull him in for a hug. Ben waves as he picks up Peaseblossom, carrying her upstairs with him.

Gwil stays up with Rami and Joe for a bit longer, watching whatever television show Rami and Joe are watching, catching up with Joe as well, before he follows Ben to bed. “I suppose you’ll be sleeping with Mustard again,” he says, walking up the stairs, and Joe nods.

“Yes, please!” Joe calls out, and Gwil laughs.

“Goodnight!” Gwil says, and Rami and Joe both give a wave as Gwil heads up the stairs.

“How was it really?” Joe asks, looking at Rami.

“What do you mean?” Rami asks. “It was fine! We had a really good time.”

“Even in Truro?” Joe asks, and Rami nods. 

“Even then,” Rami says. “We talked a lot. About a lot of things. Roger, and— and me, and Gwil, all sorts of things. I’m sure you and Ben did too.”

Joe nods. “We did, yeah. I uh…well.” He shrugs, not really planning on telling Rami about Ben’s letter burning.

Rami narrows his eyes at him. “What did you do?” he asks.

“Nothing!” Joe exclaims. “Nothing. Be proud of my nursery and all the things I put together.”

Rami just looks at him. “I don’t trust you,” he says.

“I know,” Joe says, smiling at Rami. “But. So?”

“So what?” Rami asks.

“What did Gwil say?” Joe asks. “About the baby’s name?”

“Oh,” Rami says, and he shifts a bit on the sofa, then looks at Joe, unable to contain his smile.

“Yeah?” Joe asks. “Taylor, he’s— he likes it?”

Rami nods. “Yes,” he says. “It’s Gwil-approved, he doesn’t mind at all.”

“That’s awesome,” Joe says. “I’m glad. I know that it means a lot to you.”

“It does,” Rami nods, and he shifts again, stretching out, his legs over Joe’s lap. “I’m really glad Gwil and I had a chance to get away before the baby comes. I’m just sorry you and Ben couldn’t do that same.”

“Nah, it’s okay,” Joe says, “don’t worry. Ben’s an adult now, and has a job— or, sort of. Anyway, I respect it. It was cool to see him be done every day and be like, proud of what he was doing. Smiling more.”

“Mm,” Rami murmurs, nodding. “I wouldn’t mind going back to Torquay, though,” he says. “When the baby’s old enough.”

“Sure,” Joe says. “I want our kid to see as much of the world as possible.” He looks at Rami. “Note that I said _world_ , not _universe_. Not _outer space_. So don’t get any ideas.”

Rami smiles. “You wouldn’t want our baby to be an astronaut?” he asks.

“I only want my kid to have jobs where I can spend my day hanging over their shoulder,” Joe says. “How else am I supposed to cling to them forever?”

Rami laughs, and then groans. “You’re silly,” he says.

“I know,” Joe says, and he pats Rami’s foot a couple times, before he starts gently rubbing his ankle. He looks over at the small pink crib, smiling, and then he sighs. “Augie,” he says sternly. “That’s not yours.”

Rami looks over, and then groans. “He’s going to be so jealous,” he says, pushing himself up, walking over to the crib, reaching inside to pick Augie up. He nuzzles against him, kissing his nose. “You’re going to be a big brother,” he says. “Just six more weeks.”

Joe’s smile grows. “Six more weeks,” he says softly, and Rami looks over at him, smiling back.

**Author's Note:**

> It's sort of been awhile since I posted a new part of this story; definitely not my intention, but that happens! I don't think the next part should take nearly as long, considering that I've already started it, but, you know you never know. I missed the boys! And I missed sharing them with everyone.
> 
> Happy Birthday, Roger Taylor! As a friend pointed out to me, today's date is not a good one in the ITBASM universe, but luckily Gwil and Ben have come so far since Chapter 24.
> 
> Thank you for reading, as always! It means a lot. I hope that you enjoyed it, and I hope that you're excited for what comes next, because yes, next is the introduction of a very important new character. Finally! They're coming!


End file.
